Red Spider Lilies
by Dictator-Chan
Summary: "If you see a tiger lily, it means you're taking the right path. If you see a red spider lily, know that you are going you're heading down quite a severe path to hell. The more flowers that you see, the more that you're heading in that direction. Clear enough?"
1. Chapter 1

Yeah, I know it's really rambly at the beginning. It's an accurate representation of me in class.

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 **Warning, this chapter, along with the rest of this story, includes heavy swear- like, upwards of two f-bombs a chapter, that's like, enough to have your would be PG-13 movie rated M. I may briefly bring up ideology/abuse it in this chapter because she dies, but I will never shame anyone of a certain ideology... with the exception of Nazism/ Faschism/ Totalitarianism- but hey! That's one extremely expected exception. In other words, nothing in this story will go past the content of what is in the Tales of series unless stated otherwise (becausewhodoesn'tlikemakingyourcharactersslowlygoinsaneduetotragedy?)**

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"Be stille, children!" my civics teacher says in his weird English-German-Spanish he does occasionally. Ignoring his call to attention, my dumbass GT classmates continue to chatter. Meanwhile, the dark cloud of the idea of assigned seating is looming over the heads of the kids at my table as we watch our teacher get annoyed.

Our teacher makes some joking comments about us needing to shut up and us being horrible children before we quiet down, although, that happens after he fakes motioning to put up a checkmark in the warnings until assigned seating boxes. He made another joking comment about us being horrible children before he went to explaining the lesson we would have today, Roles of the Executive Branch of Government, in other words, things you should know if you paid the slightest bit of attention in school for the past sixish years or so.

I think for a moment about how he always made jokes about us being horrible students before I laugh inwardly as I recall an event from a few weeks ago where I said, "Yes, I am a horrible child," and he responded, "You may be a horrible child but you're a pretty good pre-adult." Honestly, I have no idea what that really meant, so I've been chalking it up along with all the times people have called me very mature for my age, which has happened so much, I also don't really know what it means.

I'm half paying attention to the lesson as I start to sketch on the page we took notes on yesterday and are finishing for in this lesson. I absentmindedly look up to see the projector showing the information we need to write down, which I promptly did as my mind starts to wander as I look at the picture in the sleeve cover of my overstuffed binder.

Tuesday of this week was my birthday, and to commemorate the event, my friend managed to get three pictures, in colored ink printed off from the school's printer, of "MY SON!" for my locker. Due to the fact we didn't have any tape, she ended up ripping a hole into every paper and put them on the hooks of my locker where my jacket and backpack were supposed to be hung. Imagine my surprise when I saw the pictures, especially because I didn't think she was going to do it, even if I did tell her my locker combination.

Anyway, one of the pictures fell down and wouldn't stay up, so I took it out on a random whim. My first-period teacher offered tape to fix the tears in it for some reason I don't know, and that lead me to my seventh-period class where I'm sitting staring at the picture "MY SON!' and Raven standing back to back with their weapons out yet disengaged from a fighting position. "MY SON!" in the picture mostly facing away from the viewer and is is holding a tiger lily or fire lily or whatever it is up to his face and Raven is scratching his head while looking at the viewer.

I once did research to try to figure out what flower was being referenced in the game and I found about four. However, one of them wasn't a true lily in terms of plant families so that left about three of them. Only one of them was native to Asia, Lilium lancifolium, but it looked very different than what was displayed in Tales of Vesperia, so I ended up choosing the lily of European origin that had the most accurate common names to what was used. I believe I ended up going with Lilium bulbiferum. Yeah, I have a habit of researching useless junk.

We're soon given a group project about the roles the president has, causing me to look up more about Woodrow Wilson and the Paris Peace conference. I do the work we're given while chatting with tablemates about whatever comes up and considering that we're in Civics, politics was, of course, brought up, and I got into a minor spat about how Hillary Clinton was not a good candidate that I end once I see our teacher listening in. Honestly, I believe my tablemate came away from the argument far more perturbed that I am.

Honestly, the 2016 United States Presidential Election made me not want to talk to my peers about politics as the majority just parrot their parents and have no individual thought.

On a less controversial note, I glance at the clock to see read 2:13, in other words, two minutes until the freedom and the weekend where I can go back to planning my lesbian webcomic I comically have named "Lesbian Webcomic" for now. We're told to pack up and get ready to leave, a command which everyone listens to as the room erupts into sound. I talk to a few friends before the school's P.A. system starts to ding as a message that something is about to be said but is mildly blocked out by the chatter of the room.

My friends and I promptly shut up to hear the announcement while a group in the corner continues to shout until we hear the principle's voice, signaling something we should pay attention to is being said. It's just an announcement about the fire evacuation we had earlier that I overheard from another student asking the principle was just some dumbass pulling the fire alarm. The principle just says what I already knew before the P.A. system dings off and the bell rings.

I pull open the door as I am closest to it and go into a mad dash down the hall as tens of kids are already out of the classroom while I hope to get to my locker before the swarm. As the Social Studies classes are in a separate building from the main school, I run out the door and dash towards the school's doors which are already open from kids exiting the building. I fight my way through a swarm of kids to shuffle along some others to get to my locker before I input my combination and pull open the door.

When the door moves, the sight of two large pictures of "MY SON!" greet me while I pull my backpack onto the ground and shove my stuff into it as best I can. This problem of the afterschool rush would definitely be helped it the school let us carry backpacks, but no, of course not, we might die somehow. Just like how we can't have pencils out on the bus because if the bus suddenly stops, we might let go of the pencil and it could possibly fly into our eye.

I get up and sling my backpack over my shoulder before I wrestle through the crowd of kids to get to the real reason I was hurrying so much. The bathroom. My bus ride is roughly thirty to forty-five minutes and considering how much I had to use the bathroom, there's no way in hell I'm waiting that long.

Once I'm done, I realize that the hallways are almost abandoned at that I'm very much running late. I run/jog down the hallway and once I get outside I hear the buses starting, in a panic, I rush towards where I know my bus is.

Now, this may seem like a weird tangent to be going off to, but it will be very clear soon enough. I've never been a religious person, in fact, I'm probably a firebrand agnostic atheist. Yes, I know, I must be a Satanist who lack morality, you poor thing, I'll save you with Jesus, I've heard it all before. The only religion that could ever have my full and utter devotion is Pastafarianism, because then at least I can go to hell and still get all the benefits of heaven, only the beer will be stale and the strippers will have STDs. I recommend researching Pastafarianism, it's quite great. He boiled for your sins.

Anyway, why am I thinking about this? Probably because I just got slammed into by a car, got run over by it, and am now lying on the ground in pain meanwhile, blood is everywhere and I feel like shit. I'm vaguely aware of school staff members running towards me as I think about all the new safety regulations this is probably going to cause. "Okay kids, you might get run over by a truck, so we're going to have every bus approach the sidewalk in numerical order and you have to run quickly to get onto it, and if you miss it, well, too bad!"

The pain in my body starts to disappear as I feel myself go numb before it abruptly stops. I would assume I'm dead, but the problem is that my eyes are perfectly open and I can freely move my head and eyes to see around me. What I see is a blue sky with unmoving clouds, trees frozen in a breeze, and staff members of my school heading towards me frozen mid-sprint.

 _Now, let's see, oh dear, you had quite a life ahead of you, too bad you had to use the bathroom, hmm?_

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I say to the feminine voice coming from no specific location.

 _It means you're dead at such a young age, poor thing. You'll never be able to see that spouse I made, oh well, wasted time I suppose._

"Perhaps this is a stupid question, but who are you?"

 _God, obviously._

I laugh inwardly as I say, "Which one?"

 _Whichever one you want, quite honestly. I suppose you might lump me in with Yahweh, though, most people in this country do._

"If you were the Christian god, you would have my entire life planned out and would know I would die here, which apparently you didn't as you've stated I have a life ahead of me," I respond as the cynical side of me takes over.

 _Oooo~ You're smart! A freethinker perhaps? Ah, you are! I rarely run into you people in this country! This is exciting!_

I'm silent for a moment, not knowing what to say before I respond with "There's an anime called Youjo Senkei, or The Saga of Tanya the Evil where on death's doorstep, the main character, a cold-heart, possibly psychopathic Japanese salaryman, is greeted by "Being X", an intelligent design figure, or a god if you want. The salaryman is reincarnated into a World War 1/2 setting in the body of a girl named Tanya and rises through the ranks of the military while "Being X" forces them into dire situations to make them believe in god."

 _Oh, and you think this is what I'm going to do to you? Nah, I have no qualms if you believed in intelligent design, which, by the by, isn't true. The universe created itself! We have no power over creation, I was just joking about creating a spouse for you since most people believe it!_

"Out of curiosity, if you believe that, how do you exist?" I ask, with genuine interest.

 _Evolution or natural selection as you call it. Is it so hard to believe that a being evolved to become immaterial?_

"That sounds rather science-fictiony."

 _Well, we did, and our sole role is to pass judgment on those who die, well, that's not the right word, more like we tell you what your options are and let you choose. Speaking of which, we need to get to that, I'm on a tight schedule and I've already spent too much time with banter. Usually, I would give you options and let you sort it out, but you're a case where it's painstakingly obvious what you want so I'll just choose for you!_

"What, what? What options?"

 _Options for a reincarnation of course! Geez, you're rather unprepared for life after death aren't you?_

"What do you mean reincarnation?"

 _I mean that you'll be born again into a baby with the same personality but no memories of your past life, that's what._

I think over my next response for a few seconds in the hopes of finding a way to phrase my next statement without getting a volatile response before I say, "Do I have to forget everything? Wouldn't I have a different personality because I wouldn't know of my previous actions I did to shape it?"

 _You are correct but having memories of a previous life can be a large burden that many cannot bear, not to mention it would require reusing the same body unless we transplant your memories into the brain of another human being, give you full control of their body, and kill the mind of the host body, which is not something we've been allowed to do for about three thousand years since it creates needless complications._

"...If you put me in the right world, I might be able to live, right? I saw a video once where they were talking about traffic accidents in South Korea and how one of their friends had their chest run over by a car but she still lived with how fast they got her to a hospital."

 _You're right, she lived, but your injuries are severe enough that'll it'll take a team of healers to fix, and by severe, I mean your lungs are collapsing and you'll probably choke to death on your own blood if they can't fix it. I'll suspend your body's functions to stop your death, so you won't have to worry about this. I'll also make sure whoever finds you will think you're alive, so no worries on that front, but I must warn you. If you die here as a terrible person, there will be no incarnation, your soul will be drifting around an abyss of depression and despair. Knowing this, do you want to continue?_

"Yes."

 _Fair enough, no going back now I guess, Steve will kill me if he finds out I'm breaking protocol, but he said it himself that one fuck up doesn't matter. I already input the world you'll be put into, so no changing that, but I'll put you in a place where you can get treatment easily enough, alright?_

"Yeah..."

 _Good, I wish you luck and... I think you'll find you'll have a knack for magical theory, but do branch out, please. Now then, goodbye... Party Leader._

"What does Party Leader mean-"

I never get a chance to finish as my vision fades and the pain returns. In an act mercy, I could feel my brain letting me start drifting out of consciousness as time starts moving. I shut my eyes and let myself drift off in the hopes coming back in another place.

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The Saga of Tanya the Evil is actually really good, though.

I originally was going to post this story one I got to where the party meets her, but that is no longer the case. I need to push myself into working on this.


	2. Chapter 2

I groan as I feel myself become conscious once more, I shift a bit to get in a better position until I'm lying on my side and not my back. I immediately regret the decision as I feel the pain start from the pressure on my chest. I wince and flop back over onto my back. I sigh as I feel the pain disappear and I open my eyes to see that I'm in what looks like a hotel room.

Memories of what happened before flood my brain and take over my thought for a few seconds as I sit up with surprisingly no pain. Just as I am about to say something to grab the attention of someone outside since my throat feels like crap, the room's door opens to reveal what I assume is a doctor and a tall woman behind him who's holding my backpack.

"It's good to see you're up. I was starting to worry we didn't get to you in time. Do you feel alright?" the brunette doctor with blue eyes asks as he pulls up a stool

"Yeah, I feel- cough- ack, otherwise -cough- fine," I say as I start coughing in between my words due to how my throat feels.

"That's good to hear. Have some water," the doctor says as he grabs a pitcher of water and a glass on the bedside table before he pours out some water and gives it to me. I thank him before I drink from the glass and am thankful for the relief I feel from the water.

"Now, I hate to ask you this already, but what happened to you? Your injuries make it look like a cart ran you over but a search party found you outside of the barrier. All you found on you was this bag," the doctor says with a kindly smile as the woman who also entered the room sets my stuff down next to me on the bed.

I stare at my bag for a moment before I zip it open to see it missing the majority of my stuff with the exception of my sketchbook, pencil pouch, binder, and some bristol paper. The binder, however, is empty of paper with the exception of the paper in the cover sleeve depicting "MY SON!" and Raven and the piece of artwork I have behind it.

"I feel like there should be more in here," I say absentmindedly before I realize that was said out loud.

"You feel like there should be?" the woman asks in confusion.

"Yeah... I... Don't remember what happened... Or anything really," I lie as I make eye contact with the woman and doctor.

"You don't remember anything? What about where you were born?" the doctor questions me, face full of worry.

"No... I don't, sorry," I say sadly to try to evoke pity from the people beside me.

How funny, my first few minutes conscious in a new world and I'm manipulating people.

"What about your name?" the blue-eyed woman asks.

"No, I don't know that either... Actually," I trail off as I attempt to think of a name I can use in this life.

"Actually...?" the doctor asks questioningly.

"It... It might be Elle, but I'm not too sure of it," I say to the pair beside me.

"Give it some time, I'm sure you're just in shock and the memories will come back soon enough. You'll be staying here until we can be sure of your condition, afterward, if you still don't remember anything I'm afraid you'll either have to join a guild since you look over the age of most minimum guild age laws," the doctor says sadly.

"Um... This might sound stupid, but I honestly don't remember anything of substance... What's a guild?" I ask as I see the eyes of the doctor widen in alarm.

"You don't know that basic information?" The tall blonde woman asks. I shake my head in response.

"Give it a week, I'm sure you'll be fine after that," the doctor says as she gets up to do other things while the woman stays to talk. We chit chat about random things as she tests my memory while I learn that she was the one who found me outside of the city. Now, the word barrier and guild should have clicked far sooner, but it took her saying that she found me outside of Dahngrest for me to fully realize what world I had been sent to the fictional world of Tales of Vesperia.

Godamn, well, my reincarnator wasn't joking when she said she knew what world I might pick, assuming Earth wasn't on the table that is.

While chatting with the woman, I learn she's named Monika, with a k apparently, and that she owns a bookstore she got from her parents. She answers some basic questions I have about the world that actually know the answer to before I let her continue and explain whatever she wants She stays for a few more hours before she excuses herself.

This exact same thing happens for six more days with Monika visiting and nothing else happening besides the doctors doing tests to see if everything is in order with me, which it is due to the amazing thing that is healing artes. I'm not allowed outside the room for three days before they confirm I won't keel over and die from walking. Once I'm allowed out on my own, I honestly rarely bother going out as I am perfectly content sketching the whole day, not to mention food and water are given to me. On the seventh, the doctor and Monika are once more together in the room I am in.

"You're quite sure you don't remember anything, correct?"

"Other than what Monika's told me, no, nothing," I lie to the doctor while making direct eye contact to dispel any thoughts of me doing exactly what I am doing.

"I suppose that can't be helped. Unfortunately, due to our policy, we cannot keep you more than a week if you cannot pay for your stay and are not critically injured. I hope you looked at the list of guild we sent you. I hoped the Artist's Guild Alliance of the Arts would appeal to you since I always see you sketching in your book," the doctors says while looking at me with eyes of pity.

"Yes, I did... Although, I doubt that they would exactly take me in since I can't really draw," I respond.

"I'm sure they will once they hear your story," the doctor says with a kind smile. I just realized I never learned his name. It's probably that thing on the nametag, but I can't read it.

"I'd be willing to take her in," Monika says out of nowhere.

Both the doctor and I stare at her while she continues, "I'm starting to need help around the shop, not to mention it would be nice to have someone to talk to, it gets a bit lonely by myself, to be frank."

"Alright, usually we would have to have you go through the process of signing custody papers but since Miss Elle doesn't have parents and hasn't been in custody of an orphanage, we just need to go through a short layer of paperwork and you'll be able to take her home today. Great, isn't it dear?" the doctors says to me, which I awkwardly nod to.

Don't get me wrong, I like Monika, but I barely know her. I assume she must be pretty well known, judging from how everyone treats her in high regard considering she sells books for a living. I can't help but be a bit antsy about this, though.

Monika and the doctor get up, leaving me alone to think. Hah. Might as well think about the future. According to Monika, the Great War occurred four years ago, which gives me six years. Six years to do what, though? The thought that would exist in self-inserts I read so much would be to follow the main party so they can go home, but I can't go home, so honestly, what's the point of traveling with them?

Well...

Perhaps this sounds disgusting, but I'm aware of the fact that I'm a horrible person, so I might as well state it. In Tales of Vesperia, all the abuses happening in both the guilds and the Empire where full front and center. Not to mention the Empire is an oligarchy, so if I want to continue my dreams from my last life... The first thought would be to fix the biggest problem, the Empire, but how exactly would I do this? It would be impossible to do anything as is due to my social standing, and by that, I mean lack thereof. So, here's the gross manipulative thought.

If I ever get the chance, I would probably travel with the party to become better connected to powerful people and arrange a... Coup d'état... of the Empire.

Now, I'll never be able to do this, of course not, I pride myself on being a cynical realist, but this dream is very much a good way to override my rational thought of not wanting to travel with the party. Being realist for a moment, traveling with the party would make living in a dangerous world even more dangerous, which is exactly why I need an ideal to override rational thought. I k ow anyway that inside myself I just want to go on an adventure, anyway...

"Elle, is zhere somewhere you want to eat lunch?" Monika asks as she slides into the room.

"Um, not really, I'm kinda... not aware of any places we could eat," I say, glad that I could tell the truth for once.

"Oh, good point, zhe only place I know is good is a local tavern since I don't eat out much, although... I don't know how suitable it would be, more often tzhan not zhere's bar fight happening in there somewhere," Monika says with a frown.

"It sounds fine, as long as there's food that's decent," I say with a smile.

"Heh, sounds good. If someone touches you, yell my name very loudly," she jokes as she motions for me to get up. I nod to acknowledge I hear her before I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder as I swing my legs off the bed. I attempt to make the bed somewhat before Monika waves me off, explaining that they would change the sheets anyway.

As Monika guides me through the hospital to the exit, I start to realize how big it is. Then again, if I recall, Dahngrest is the second biggest city in Terca Lumireis so it's bound to have a large hospital. The occasional staff member waves at me while I awkwardly wave back as I'd never seen most of these people. All I can assume is they were part of the squad that apparently worked to save my life. I learned from Monika yesterday that apparently, half the staff, which I'm sure is an exaggeration, was working on me due to how severe my condition was.

"Monika!" a voice calls out from behind us. Monika stops, which I do as well, as someone who looks like a nurse approaches us.

"Yes?" Monika says kindly.

"Doctor Jones asked me to give you these papers since he forgot them," the blonde with emerald eyes says.

"Oh, thank you, Dominic. How's working in a hospital?" Monika says as she rifles through the papers as I stand behind her awkwardly.

"Ugh, different, but it helps to have some experience as a nurse in the case that I might ever need to pretend to be one," he says as he runs his hand through his hair to brush it to his left. The man, Dominic, looks as though he's in his early thirties, although I very much could be wrong. I'm terrible at faces.

"Now, why would a member of Altosk ever need to pose as a nurse?" Monika says to him teasingly. I almost think for a moment that she's flirting with him, but Monika comes off more like any flirting she does would be with a friend as a joke. Rather like Judith, I guess. Actually, she's nothing like Judith, Judith does real flirting. Not to mention I spot a wedding ring on Dominic's hand and I doubt Monika is the type to take married men.

"Hah, you know the answer to that. Father isn't one for more intelligence-based work so he pushes the entire section of the guild onto me. Then again, I suppose a small part of the guild isn't much compared to the whole Union," Dominic says as I realize what he just said. Monika said this man is a member of Altosk, and this man just stated that his dad runs the Union. My god, I mean, the Don had to have a son to have a grandson, but the Don having a son was just never mentioned in the game so I never thought about it.

"Oh, is this the girl you found outside the barrier?" Dominic asks Monika as he finally seems to notice me.

"Yeah, I was planning on taking her in. She can't remember anything and I didn't want her to just be dumped into a guild, not to mention it's rather lonely in a house by myself," Monika says with a smile as she looks at me.

"Hello, how are you doing?" Dominic asks as he holds out his hand to shake. Blinking at him, I take his hand and shake it while in mild surprise that handshakes are done in guilds as I think back to Yuri not knowing what a handshake was in the beginning of the game when he met Estelle. I guess even the "rough brutes" that are the guilds are classier than Yuri.

"Hah, you have a good handshake. I bet you'll be something when you're older," Dominic says what I believe is an empty statement on his part.

Who knows, though.

"Thank you, sir," I say quietly.

"Hah, you're very welcome, little miss. I hope you get your memories back soon. Also, Monika, some of those papers need to be signed and returned to us, anyway, see you two later," Dominic says with a smile.

"Goodbye, Dominic," Monika says with a wave.

"So, what kind of food do they have at the place we're eating?" I ask Monika as I attempt to make conversation after minutes of silence after we walked out of the hospital.

"Literally everysing you could think of, and believe me, zhey take ridiculous orders too. I once saw a little girl order 27 bowls of ice cream, 34 mabo curry, 8 set A lunch boxes, and zhen downed ten pots of tea. She ate all of that by the way. Some people are amazing aren't zhey?" Monika says as she seems to get my attempts at conversation and reciprocates it, continuing to chatter to me as we walk the streets of Dahngrest.

I vaguely notice people waving at Monika and her waving back as we walk through streets of the large city. Just my luck that I end up being... adopted... by a well-connected woman, which also completely ruins my reason for traveling with the party, since the more I think about this the more I realize recruiting citizens of the guilds would be the best as it was stated that many of them have near irrational bloodthirst for the Empire. That was the damn exact reason Don Whitehorse quoted for why he raised hell over the letter that Leviathan's Claw planted.

Leviathan's Claw. What a bag of mixed emotions for me right now that I am in no way prepared to deal with right now.

I look around a bit to see that we're walking around what I believe is a marketplace. People are yelling advertisements for their ware, probably have a 250 percent markup on their goods, and consumers are attempting to haggle the shop owners while failing miserably in most cases. Ah, capitalism at its finest.

"This is it," Monika says as she stops at double doors that are past a decent amount of steps. People are walking out of the restaurant and hanging around it as well, and it seems to have copious amounts of people inside the tavern too. I can feel the fact that it must look like I'm gawking at it as Monika chuckles as me as she pulls me inside.

"Miss Scholz! Are you here to dine or drink today?" the front desk clerk says while ignoring the people actually in front of her.

"Hah, dine, don't expect me to be heavily drinking again anytime soon, I'm getting a bit too old for that," Monika says while laughing.

"That's too bad, you're one of our best customers with the amount you spend! Hey, Jeremy, get her a seat!" the woman at the front desk says while the customers in front of her are starting to look annoyed.

I've come the conclusion I've been adopted by a habitual drinker.

This is fine.

"Miss Scholz, bar seat or table today?" the brunette waiter, Jeremy, asks.

"Table for two please, I have another person with me," Monika says as she grabs my hand and lightly pulls me in the direction of the table Jeremy points at and places menus on.

"Really? Your brother's in town?" Jeremy asks her, seemingly not noticing little old me right next to her who's holding her hand.

"No, he's off doing who know what, who knows where. You remember that I mentioned that I found someone injured outside the barrier, right? Well, it was Elle right here. I've decided to take her in since she has nobody else," Monika continues to chat as we take a seat.

"You're an orphan?" Jeremy asks me.

"I suppose," I answer intentionally vaguely in the hope that Monika might continue the conversation on for me.

"Elle right here doesn't remember much of anything. All she could tell us was her name, and even that was shaky. I just didn't feel right having her dumped in some guild when she didn't even know what a Lumi blastia was," Monika chatters. Also, I totally should have been able to guess what a Lumi blastia was from its name, but I couldn't because I'm stupid. It's basically a lightbulb.

I look at the menu to see that I couldn't read anything on it due to the fact that their alphabet is a bunch of scribbles that vaguely look like letters if you smoke a lot of weed. I let Monika finish her conversation with the waiter before I quietly ask her to read the menu to me. This is literally one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, and it's not helped by the fact that Monika asks me to repeat what I asked since she can't hear much over the chatter of the tavern.

"What do you recommend?" I ask, struggling to hear my own voice over the noise of the tavern while I rephrase my question, taking it as my chance to avoid embarrassment.

"Hmm, zhe lunch boxes are pretty good. You might like zhe Polywiggle Dumpling, most people do, but I personally am not at all a fan of seafood," Monika says smiling, not even having to look at the menu, probably due to the sheer amount of times she's been here.

"What are in the lunchboxes?"

"Mmm, sink Yuzorean food for lunchbox A. Lunchbox B is more like normal guild food," she says, not helping me at all with her descriptions.

"Okay then," I say quietly. I have no idea what either of those things mean. Alright, try to think, the food and culture is bound to be like the stuff on Earth to a certain degree, Desier is a desert, so I suppose that might be the Middle East and Africa, and the empire must be like Europe which, if I want to generalize based off of the architecture similarities I saw in-game, I can say the guilds separated from the Empire because they didn't like living under its rule. The most famous example of "breaking free of their European tyrants" would probably be the United States, so Tolbyccia is the Americas? Also, Yurozea has those hot springs, so that might be Asia, and Weccea could very obviously be Australia! Wait, then what's Hypionia? South America? Hypionia has a bunch of ruins, and whenever I think of South and Central America, all I can think of is the Aztecs and Mayan with all the amazing structures they built.

"Hey, what do you want?" Monika asks as I notice Jeremy is next to us. I thought that waiters only come if your menu is closed and down- ...but I happen to have mine closed and down. Good job me.

"Um, Lunchbox A?" I say, rather unsure of myself. The waiter smiles and writes it down on a notepad.

"Anything to drink?" he asks us.

"Just water," I say. Monika agrees before Jeremy takes our menus and goes to the counter to relay our order.

"So, sorry to probe you more, but do you remember anything else? Just out of curiosity," Monika says quietly to the point where I almost don't hear her. After she says this, Jeremy comes and puts down two glasses of water with straws in each. I'm surprised they have straws. I wonder if they're made of plant fiber or something...

"No, sorry," I say as I look at her sadly, trying my best to make puppy-eyes even though I'm fourteen. Ugh. I'm Fourteen. Thirteen is basically calf into the swamp of the teenage years and fourteen is pretty much a cannonball into it. Fifteen would probably be the same but with more acne... Ew...

I barely notice that the tavern shuts up while I'm twirling the straw in the glass of water I have until I see Monika staring behind me. I look up in front of me to look at the mirror on the wall behind Monika so I don't look like I'm gawking like everyone else. In the mirror's reflection, I see everyone looking up at one man, Don Whitehorse.

"Don!"

Some guy in the back shouts before the waitress who I originally saw at the front desk about to grab a menu before she calmly asks, "The same as normal?"

"If it ain't too much trouble for ya, Julia," the Don says as he walks to the door on the right of the restaurant, which if I recall from the games, is his own personal room. After the Don disappears from sight, the conversation begins to start up again.

Monika looks at me strangely before she asks, "Do you know who that was?"

"The Don, right?"

"Yeah, strange, I figured you would react more if you knew him. Maybe..." Monika trails off as she looks like she's thinking about something.

"I just didn't want to gawk at him as if we're in a zoo like everyone else. I figured it must get annoying after a while to have everyone look at you like that," I say as I wonder what has Monika off in the clouds.

"Hah, how nice of you. You're rather mature for your age," Monika says to me.

"...I just consider it a common courtesy..." I trail off before Jeremy comes with our food. That was surprisingly quick. A quick glance at my food tells me that my previous assumption of Yuzorean food being Asian food is correct. In front of me is what I suppose I would call a bulgogi lunch box- er, Korean Barbeque. Using the correct term would probably arise suspicions, wait- how will I ever know if a Galbi Dolsot Bibimbap is one the menu now? No...

 _It seems like you're settling in nicely._

I stop drooling over my food to realize the chatter in the room has stopped. I sit for a moment before I fully comprehend what just happened and say, "It depends on what you call nicely."

 _Well, I assume it must be going nicely if you have the time to be thinking about Korean food. Anyway, I'm just doing my legally required check-up on how this is going and inform you of some need to know... things I've done._

"And what does that mean?" I say as I play with my food to see how it'll react with gravity. Funnily enough, it just stays in place once I take it off the fork.

 _Well... I would go into an explanation of the legalities of my job, but I'm afraid that there's no time. So, I have to ask, what's your favorite flower?_

"Red spider lilies, why?"

 _Heh, well, I'm allowed to do some things for people who died under the legal age of where they were from who asked to be transported into another world, which actually happens way more than you might think even though I mention that whole 'floating in an abyss of sadness for all eternity thing' if you live your life wrong. Now then, what's the saddest flower you can think of?_

"Tiger lilies, and why specifically do you need to know my tastes in flora?" I ask again.

 _Mmm... Well, I figured I would make this a bit easier for you. I feel kind of bad for you, and I think this is something I can do, and if not, well, off to Room 101 with me then. I'll help you get to... "heaven", I think is what you're most familiar with. If you see a tiger lily, it means you're taking the right path. If you see a red spider lily, know that you are going you're heading down the most severe path to hell. To more that you see, the more that you're heading in that direction. Clear enough?_

"I guess? I mean, not really, but kinda?"

 _Fair enough. Oh, I almost forgot, sorry! Oh, wait, shoot!_

"So, do you have any particular interest?" Monika asks as time moves again.

"Mh... I mean, judging from the stuff in the bag, I think I like drawing, but I can't remember much honestly," I say, trying to get over how jarring that start in time was.

 _Okay, sorry about that, I had forgotten to do something rather important, sorry, I don't have time to explain that surprise- sorry! Just have fun being surprised by it!_

"Oh, cool! I noticed you vere drawing in a sketchbook, tzhough, it looked rather full, do you want to get a new one sometime?" Monika asks me nicely, voice full of excitement.

"It's okay, I have another one, besides, it feels weird to have you buy me stuff, I mean, you're already doing quite a bit for me by taking care of me," I say as I push around my food awkwardly, still not used to that weird ass time manipulation thing that just passed.

"Hah, don't worry about it. Living by myself has let me stockpile a good amount of money that I can live off of for more than ten years with if I were to up and leave here someday and not make any money. Supporting another person wouldn't be too bad, I always make too much food anyways," Monika says between the bites of food she's eating way faster than I am.

"Speaking of which, you really need new clothes, don't you? You can use some of mine for a few days, but honestly, I doubt it'll fit that well. We're better off getting some for you today." Monika continues as I realize how right she is. My clothes I was wearing before I got my lungs crushed by a car are probably torn and completely covered in blood. The only thing salvageable is the underwear I have on, which I was told by a very flustered nurse. I'm instead wearing your stereotypical female NPC civilian clothing for Dahngrest... minus that headdress thing. Also I got to wear pants too because I bitched enough to them.

"I feel rather guilty, though-"

"It'z fine, alright? I said it'z fine! ...Hah. You really remind me of my brother's fiancee, she vas just so... modest and guilty... and... just so Yuzorean. Do you know vhat zat mean?" Monika cuts me off in a joking tone, masking a bit of annoyance that underlines her voice. I nod to her question as well because if Yuzorean means Asian, I painfully know what she means. It comes from going to a school that's a fourth Asian.

"Sorry," I whisper. I hear Monika make a noise back before she goes back to eating. The rest of the meal is spent in relative silence with the occasional chatter. The food is nothing special, just your average bulgogi- ugh, Korean Barbeque. Suddenly, halfway through the meal, Monika stands up. She says something about talking to someone before I see her walk to the room the Don is in. I go back to eating while looking at the door from the corner of my eye, rather sure something bad is going to happen.

Surprisingly, nothing does. Within ten minutes, I'm done eating and am sitting back as I see Monika exit the Don's personal room while in conversation with the Don, who's behind her. Also, surprisingly enough, nobody seems to care this time that the Don is in front of them now. Monika chats a bit more before she seems to remember both I and the bill, which is on the table, exist as she excuses herself. She smiles at me as she lays down the necessary gald before she motions for me to get up too.

"So, who's the girl you got, Monika?"

"Hah, that's a good question. I found her outside of town in a condition that should have had her dead, honestly, but she was healed and now doesn't seem to remember who she is, minus her name," Monika very openly says to the Don. So, is this a thing that's just going to be thrown around? Alright, I'm good with that, everyone seems to like Monika, so I'm sure they'll believe it.

"Is that so?" It takes me a few moments to realize I'm the one being spoken to before I look at the Don and nod.

"Well, the best of luck to ya in getting your memories back," the Don says.

"Thank you," I say with what I feel is a relatively blank face while I look the Don in the eye. I don't know how to react to him, do I smile, do I keep a straight face? Urg.

"Heh. Not afraid to talk to me, are ya? Well, ya do have amnesia."

"I've been told I can be rather vexing yet bland by the hospital staff, perhaps that's it?" I say offhandedly. That's true, I was told that by a nurse who seemed rather bitchy whose skin I got under quite easily.

"Heh. Maybe."

"Well, goodbye then, we really need to get going, there are so many things we have to get, oh god. Thinking about it makes my head hurt," Monika says to excuse us before we walk out of the restaurant while saying our goodbyes.

"Clothes first, zhen?" Monika asks once we're out into the hustle and bustle of Dahngrest.

"Sure," I say as Monika drags me through the endless crowds of Dahngrest.

I swear, though, that out of the corner of my eye I see a little girl holding a tiger lily.

* * *

Is that an abrupt ending? Yes, it is, but this chapter is over 5100 words so... Yeah... We'll be at the main story by chapter 5, but expect to be jumping back into the past when I need to explain things.


	3. Chapter 3: Uh-huh

I'd say that it's been about five months since Monika took me in, yes, something like that. To my surprise, she didn't actually have any nefarious intent while doing it, in fact, the worst thing I have to do is help with the shop, which I expected, and listen to her talk about fashion, which thankfully only happens when we go clothes shopping. Which is about once a week, more than I would ever want, but still good since she once told me she used to go every other day.

I've discovered a few odd quirks about her, such as the fact that for a woman interested in fashion and books above all else, she can fight even better than Blood Alliance mercenaries, which I learned when an argument between them and some Altosk member in the shop that turned violent. She very easily restrained both the offending parties and threw them out of the shop, which was actually quite funny. This was about four months ago, and since then, she's been training me a bit so I can handle similar situations, as per my request. She was rather reluctant; I think she much prefers me staying an innocent civilian citizen, but I managed to convince her that if some pervy guy tried to touch me I could beat the shit out of them. I hated making that argument, but it worked.

Another detail I learned is that she's very reluctant to tell me about her past or her family. I once asked her if she had any siblings since I recalled the people at the Sagittarius talking about a brother she has. She paused for a moment as she looked like she was evaluating my soul before she told me she had an older and younger brother before she ended the conversation to go resort some books we had already gone through the day before together. Another time I asked about her past and what made everyone like her so much. She just said in a roundabout way that she's really good at selling books before she awkwardly changed the topic.

The final thing I found of big importance was that she spoke differently depending on who she's talking to. While I know everyone does that, Monika speaks with a rather distinct Western European accent when she gets annoyed or angry around me alone, while around anyone else, she assumes a standard American English accent. I noticed it before when we first talked, but she only messes up the "th" noise unless she's mad, so I never paid any mind to it before. The problem is that I noticed recently that when she's around me, her speech patterns are rather reminiscent of-

"Elle! Can you get that!" Monika yells from the bathroom next door as the bell from the door rings. I get up from my desk where I'm sketching out a flower I found outside before I run out of my room and go through the door to the front where the shop is, sketchbook and my thirty-seven USD mechanical pencil in tow, thankful that I changed and brushed my hair ten minutes ago.

I go to the front desk as I set down my stuff before I look up at our early morning customer and ask, "Good morning, is there anything, in particular, you're looking for?"

A tall slender man turns around to look at me with a look of surprise before he asks, "Not really, is the owner in by any chance?"

"Yeah, she's just doing god knows what with her hair. She'll be out in ten minutes or so. I can go yell at her to finish if it's urgent," I offer since I've come to know the types coming here for Monika at this point; they're mainly guild member of Altosk, Fortune's Market, and the occasional Ruin's Gate member along with a peppering of other guilds.

"No, no, it's fine, I can wait," the man says as he stares at me weirdly. He turns to the left and walks over to a nearby shelf to look at the new books that have recently come in, the floor creaking as he steps on a loose panel I keep telling Monika she should fix.

After making sure he isn't doing anything weird since I don't like the way he's looking at me, I open my sketchbook and turn to an unfinished anatomy practice, the purpose of which is to try to improve my ability to draw guys, before I jump when the pale blonde asks, "Is there any particular favorite book you have?"

"Hm? Oh, I liked that one," I say with surprise as I point at a book which I've learned is a damn near identical copy of 1984, with the exception of names of places, when I read it the moment I could read it. By the moment I could, I mean after I had Monika teach me to read the god-forsaken scribble font they call words here. Imagine her surprise when I told her I couldn't read and then picked it up in less than a week.

"What's it about?" he asks like he's trying to make conversation with me, which I particularly don't like from guild members who have business with Monika.

"One-third world-building, one-third romance, one-third torture. And totalitarianism," I say in an attempt to get him to stop talking to me.

"Isn't that a bit heavy for a kid your age," he says, probably meaning it completely different from how I take it, but nonetheless annoying me.

"Isn't it a bit heavy to be having eight-year-old orphans thrown into monster hunting guild where the death rate is forty percent within two years?" I say mildly pissily as I vent out my anger from hearing this comment from everyone who talks to me about current events, including my own parents from before I died.

"Yes, it is, yet it's the norm here, isn't it? Wouldn't you say that's terrible?"

I look up in mild surprise to see that this stranger is perfectly willing to discuss socioeconomic with me before Monika walks out from the back muttering to herself before she looks up and says, "Hedrik? I thought you were spelunking in Ilyccia or something?"

"Yeah, that was four months ago, not to mention it was actually guild work, not spelunking, and now I'm heading back to the compound with the girls. Now, would you like to introduce someone?"

"No," Monika says, obviously as a joke. I look back and forth between the two similar blonde-hair blue-eyed adults before I get up to go to my room, not wanting to intrude on what I bet is a sibling reunion. I hear no objections from Monika before I have my hand on the doorknob to the back before she stops me, much to my dismay.

"Elle, stay a moment, would you? Then I'll let you off for the next few hours," Monika says as I inwardly sigh, but feel enticement at the thought of being able to sit by myself for a few hours like I could in my past life.

With this hope in mind, I go back to sitting down as Monika says, "Okay, an explanation is in order. Hedrik, this is the girl I mentioned in that letter five months ago who I found basically dead. Miraculously, the healers saved her with no repercussions of the incident visible on her, even though I was told that it looked like her lungs were crushed. She woke up with amnesia, which she still has, and I decided to take her in. Call me jealous since you always seem so happy with the girls. Anyway, Elle, this is my younger brother, Hedrik."

"I figured, you two look like male and female versions of each other," I say blandly, wanting to escape and seclude myself to my room.

"Oh hush, don't be such a teenager!" Monika jokes.

"I'm not specifically acting like a teenager, just an anti-social nerdy introvert who hates people and would prefer having eight cats in their old age instead of actual family, alright?" I rebuke as I wish I have a cat in my lap.

"And you're going to end up like that if you don't get out and meet new people, alright?"

"How?" I ask, fully in the right since she seems to get incredibly anxious whenever she can't find me.

"What do you mean, how?"

"The last time I tried to leave just to look in the front yard, you started panicking that I was going to die."

"Okay, that's true, but still," Monika says in what's honestly a feeble attempt to rebut me.

"Hah, I wouldn't be so worried Monika. Things rarely happen in this side of Dahngrest," Hedrik says as he pulls over the stool to sit on which is next to the counter.

"Ugh, blame mother for my paranoia. Speaking of family, where are the girls?" Monika asks as she goes to a nearby bookshelf to sort in some new books in a box beside it.

"They've been here enough, I'm comfortable they won't do anything stupid as well, so I gave them some money and let them buy something for themselves at the marketplace," Hedrik says while looking at Monika, making me feel like a fifth wheel to this conversation, if that makes any sense.

"Are you sure they'll be able to get back here?" Monika asks, pausing in her sorting. I realize that I am no longer part of this conversation before I reopen my sketchbook, this time back to that flower study so I can finish the shadow of the plant I have lightly outlined.

"I have more than enough confidence in them, they're very mature for their age. Not to mention that everyone in this city knows where you live, so they can easily ask for directions."

"Aren't you afraid something might happen?" Monika asks as she goes back to sorting.

"Hah, no. Last month a group of-... They can take care of themselves," Hedrik cuts himself off as he notices that I'm still here.

"Well, they're your kids, I suppose they would," Monika says, effortlessly placing a book on the top shelf, making me even more envious of her height.

"Obviously," Hedrik says as a fulfilling silence is left in the air while Monika sorts in the last few books and I can tell Hedrik is watching me draw from the corner of my eye.

Monika puts in the last book before she folds up the box they were in to turn around and say, "I wouldn't be doing that if I were you. I last time I tried to look at what she was drawing I got a book thrown at me."

Hedrik give Monika an incredulous look before I make a move to defend myself by saying, "First of all, I'm not the person who threw the book, that was a six-year-old whom you promptly threw out afterward, and secondly, the first and last time I showed you what I was drawing you said that they looked like prostitutes."

"I didn't say they looked like prostitutes, I just... heavily insinuated it," Monika says as she puts the folded up box in a cabinet under the desk.

"I don't see a difference," Hedrik jokes as the two get into a sibling argument, making me feel incredibly awkward before I choose to go back to my bedroom and hide there for the next few hours, this time getting no objections from Monika.

* * *

"Elle! We're eating!" Monika yells from the kitchen as I get up, glad for the break since I've been ready to throw myself into a wall while I've been working on male anatomy. Their chests- I just don't- WHY ARE THEY SO FLAT. I turn off the light after I close my sketchbook before I leave the room to go down the hallway past Monika's room and the two guest rooms before I arrive at the kitchen that doubles as the dining room.

I see five plates out on the table so, wanting to be somewhat helpful, go to the utensils drawer and get out five forks before I ask, "Do we need knives?"

"Yeah, get actual knives, though, not butter knives," Monika says as she puts a wooden block on the table, which means we'll probably be eating something hot.

Following what I was told, I go to grab steak knives as I see two young girls, well, "young", I would say that they're preteens, from the corner of my eye, who are sitting at the table already. One has straight, sort of lime-tinted hair color with a shoulder cut, and the other bright red hair that falls in waved to a bit above her mid back. As I lay down the knives, I can tell that they're staring at me, which is understandable since I just entered the room, but they are staring at me a very intensely. I mean very intensely. And it's starting to creep me out.

"Take a seat, Elle, we're just about done with the food," Monika tells me. I sit down across from the redhead and stare blankly at the table, hoping the girls will stop staring at me soon.

"Monika, why exactly is it that when I come back, all the food I was cooking looks severely misshapen at best and burn to a crisp at worse?" Monica's brother says as he walks into the room. I look at the food he's referencing to see he's right and that Monika managed to screw it up. I don't know why it's a surprise honestly, Monika's cooking is either decent or inedible, a fact which she knows.

"Um... I have no excuse but that you probably should not have left me alone for more than a minute. Which you did, so..." Monika stutters out with a smile on her face.

I get up, finally happy to get away from the two kids staring into my soul, to go look if there was a way to salvage the remains of the food. Looking at the potatoes that are supposedly burnt, I can tell it isn't as bad as Monika's brother says. The only thing burnt about it is the top layer, which is unfortunate because that's some of the best parts of potatoes au gratin, but at least the meal is salvageable. I grab a nearby fork and pick off the burnt top layer, which easily comes off, before I flick all of it into the trash, mildly proud of how proactive I am to figure out how to fix the meal, meanwhile Monika and her brother are still having a friendly bickering exchange.

"I fixed it," I say in a cutesy sort of no shit way if that makes any sense.

"Ah, well, that you did," Monika's brother says.

"You might want to cook the pork chops longer, though, and there's no way I'm doing that considering I don't trust myself with a stove," I say as I look at the meat that's half-cooked before I go to slide back into my seat.

"Take back anything I said, be glad you have her," Monika's brother murmurs just in my hearing range.

"Um... Excuse me?" The girl with green hair asks shyly as I take a seat.

"Yes?" I respond, attempting a smile that probably looks terrifying, not that it's meant to.

"Where are you from?"

See, I know that this is an incredibly common question for those of Asian descent to be asked, but I've managed to go my whole life without that being asked because I lived in an area with what I like to call "Every Minority of the Rainbow but Native Americans", meaning, that I am not used to being asked this question.

"This planet, I would assume," I say in a passive aggressive way that probably flew over their young heads.

"No, I meant..."

"Dinner is served, ladies! Turns out I didn't burn everything!" Monika says as she puts down the potatoes onto a wood block there to prevent the pot from burning the table. Knowing Monika, we're also going to need salt at the least, especially since she didn't bother to recook the cheese layer of potatoes au gratin.

"He said to just eat since it'll take some time to cook the meat," Monika says as she answers the questioning looks of the two girls next to me who were staring at Monika's brother, while putting down a platter of green beans before finally taking a seat at the head of the table.

"Anyway, let's eat! Take your own food!" Monika says as she takes her own food. I start to take mine once Monika is done while thinking about how it's rather weird to not be eating a meat with this. Afterward, I hand the tongs over to the redhead who doesn't make eye contact with me.

"I'm realizing I know next to nothing about you two, what are your hobbies?" Monika asks the two girls next to me as the redhead passes the tongs to her sister, or at least, I'm assuming that they're sisters.

"We usually spend most of our time training, but recently been learning piano," the green-eyed girl who I've recognized as the more outgoing one says.

"Has he been teaching you?" Monika asks as before she shovels some green beans into her mouth. Huh. The green beans are mushy. That's the way my dad from Belgium cooked them. Although, my mother from the United States hated soft green beans. It's the difference in culture is, I guess, or just the way they got used to eating green beans.

"Yeah! I'm glad that there's someone who can teach me, it's going way better than it would otherwise!" the green sister says happily, seemingly opening up to a conversation.

"And you?" Monika asks with a kind smile to the shy redhead across from me.

"Um... When we lived at the orphanage, I used to do some embroidery to help Nanny pay the bills, but I like painting better," the girl shyly says as she nibbles at her food. I act similarly as I nibble at a green bean.

"Really? What kind of painting do you do? Acrylic? Watercolor? I'm assuming not oils since I doubt he would let you." Monika says, managing to carry a conversation with the introvert.

Ignoring this conversation, I shove a shitload of green beans into my mouth because it's the best thing I've eaten during my time with Monika. I almost regret it because I can't chew them. Almost.

"I actually do oil painting. It's fine as long as I seal the paint thinner so I can't breathe it in and not scrape at the paint," the introvert says as starts talking freer, probably because it's about something she likes.

"Despite the amount of books I own on painting, I did not know that," Monika says with a smile, taking another bite of food before saying, "Elle, you like art, right?"

Not ready to be brought into this conversation, I swallow the food in my mouth so I don't look like a chipmunk before saying, "Oil painting was something I was always interested in but never could do because of the practicality of it. I prefer watercolor since I sort of know how to use it."

"Pans or tubes?" Hedrik asks he puts down the pork chops before taking the only empty seat at the table; the one next to me.

"Uh... Honestly either work since you can just put tube paint into a palette and it becomes like pan paints... but I like pans better since you get more colors for less money, and it's just more convenient to carry," I mumble out, feeling incredibly uncomfortable sitting next to someone I don't know that well, subconsciously moving away from Hedrik slightly.

"Did your family travel a lot?" Hedrik asks as he passes out the pork chops to everyone.

"I think so," I vaguely say as I realize I've been saying too much information for someone with amnesia. Time to not talk for the rest of dinner.

"How unusual, most people stay within a barrier their whole life, but it sounds like you moved around a lot," Hedrik states while giving a kind smile which scarily made me want to spout out the truth of my entire situation. I shall not be lulled into a fake sense of security. I shall not be lulled into a fake sense of security. I shall not be lulled into a fake sense of security.

"Uh-huh," I say as I mean to make an affirmative noise. When I say uh-huh, I'm not saying yes. Lies are always best when there's a certain amount of truth in them. Did the fictional family I came up with that I might have had to save my ass move around a lot? Uh-huh. Were those parents guild members? Uh-huh. Were they actually unicorns?

Uh-huh.

"Right, you don't remember anything, sorry," he says as he cuts apart his food. Sure you are. I mean you probably do, but I have no faith in humanity at this current paranoid moment after I've given away too much information about my knowledge.

Let's just not think about my foreknowledge for now.

"Uh-huh."

Hedrik sits there staring at his food before asking me, "So, what kind of books do you like to read? According to Monika, you've been devouring books, her words, not mine."

"History, mostly, though, some occasional high fantasy. I prefer the newspaper most of the time, honestly," I say before I shove a bunch of food in my mouth so I can avoid talking for a bit longer.

"You're quite worldly for your age, it's nice to see people looking outside of their bubble. We almost had a war between the Guilds and the Empire after the Great War exactly because some people in places of power couldn't do just that. The idiots," Hedrik says, looking as though he had just conjured up an annoying memory before sighing and eating some of the food.

"I would say I'm in my own worldly bubble, though. I've noticed that I expect people to have the same knowledge I do when usually they don't. I seem to remember an occasion where a friend garnered excess exasperation from me when she couldn't name the leader of the Guilds," I say as I pick at my food, not finding the potatoes interesting. What I'm actually referring to is the time I asked a friend who the vice president was and she couldn't name him. Her excuse was, "I'm Asian!". I easily responded by asking a Chinese girl who the vice president was, to which she easily gave the correct answer to. It only gets worse when I ask my worldly friends who Edward Snowden is and they can't reply...

"At least you recognize it. Say, you speak really mature for your age," Hedrik says with a smile as he attempts to continue the conversation.

"That was just a random moment. Usually, I speak like any other kid my age, perhaps with an increased vocabulary, but not by much. Although...," I trail off as I think of the time my mom told me about her response to a question from a job interview and whether or not I could get away with saying it.

"Although?" Hedrik asks, looking genuinely interested in what I'm about to say.

"My mom did once say that I was 14, going on 52," I say, remembering when she told my dad and me about that job interview. She got that job.

"Ahah! Well, I can see that! Hah, anyway, you said you were 14?"

Shit. I'm not supposed to know that. I'm supposed to let my boobs contradict my height so nobody is sure of my age!

"That would mean that you're three years older than the girls, maybe you'll get along. Then again, I remember when I was 11 and Monika was 14, and to be honest, we didn't get along too well," Hedrik says, giving me more information about Hedrik and Monika's family in a sentence than I got I five months of living with Monika.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I doubt that we'll be at each other's throats, anyway," I say as I put the last of the food on my plate since I had eaten extremely quickly.

"I certainly hope you aren't," Hedrik says as he watches me get up and put my plate and utensils into the sink before joining the conversation with the other females at the table.

"No! I never said that! You put words in my mouth there!" The redhead suddenly loudly exclaims as I'm about to leave earshot.

I hear a chuckle coming from Hedrik before I hear him say, "I know, Gauche, it's fine. Your sister says a lot of things that aren't necessarily true, but you certainly make the conversation more interesting, Droite."

Shit.

At that moment I immediately sprint to my room as quiet as I can before I throw myself in and try my best to make it sound like a perfectly mentally sane human being is closing the door. I'm paranoid, right? I have to be paranoid. There's no other reason why in god's name I'm assuming I just had dinner with a serial killer who has an interest in funding orphanages, right? His name is Hedrik, he has blond hair and is Monika's sister, who is a well know and respected citizen of the guilds who would never be caught dead associating with the Red Eyes and would never be caught dead near the compound of-.

" _Yeah, that was four months ago, not to mention it was actually guild work, not spelunking, and now I'm heading back to the compound with the girls. Now, would you like to introduce someone?"_

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, FUCK. Obviously, he couldn't have meant the Manor of the Wicked, there's no way that could be the case, he isn't him and those girls cannot be Gauche and Droite, loyal members of the guild, as well as the adopted daughters of...

I just ate dinner with Yeager, leader of Leviathan's Claw, a shady weapons and hoplon blastia-selling guild that has its headquarters in the near Dahngrest, a man who often manipulates events to meet his own goals and frequently tosses moral concerns aside for the sake of profit.

Fuck.

* * *

I swear that we'll be getting to the real story soon. I just need to establish some... Things...

Uh-huh.


	4. Chapter 4: Traumatization

It's been a while, hasn't it? Here are 12,000 words as payment. I am literally doubling the word count of this book in a single chapter. This will probably never happen again because that would require writing 25,000 words, which is more then I can manage as the longest chapter I've ever written was 18,000.

* * *

"We're eating dessert, do you want any?" Monika asks me after she opens the door of my room with my permission. How weird to not have parental figures just walk into your room or not call you from downstairs to ask you make coffee for them.

To be honest, it makes me homesick.

"I think I'm good," I say as I look up at her from the history book I'm reading.

"Really? Hedrik brought this really good assortment of pastries and cookies from the bakery," Monika says as she leans against the doorframe.

I feel my stomach curl as I think about him before I say, "I'm good."

Monika stares at me for a little bit as I stare back before she asks me, "Do you not like him?"

I could play dumb here and ask who he is to get her annoyed, but something tells me that it won't get Monika to go away in this instance; I can tell that she's insistent on Hedrik and I getting along, so I instead respond, "No, that's not it. I just don't want dessert."

Monika looks at me a bit longer before she nods and leaves with an, "Alright," closing the door behind her.

I look back at the book I'm reading about a general overview of the world's geography, not wanting to really continue. It's not like I have a choice, I need at least the basic information that anyone from Terca Lumiries would have. I open the book again to the overview of Wecca and read through it to the best of my abilities with this terrible excuse people call a writing system.

 _Weccea is a compilation of rocky, mountain-like chunks of land rising high from the ocean. As such, it is uninhabited and remains the last unexplored land on Terca Lumireis. The Empire was once ruled by Emperor Calx III, who sent scouting parties four times in order to claim the land. However, the scouting parties lost communication each time, and no one returned from these excursions. Its only notable location is Relewiese Hollow (Page 156), home to the oldest aer krene in existence._

Intrigued by the mention of Relewiese Hollow, since I thought it wasn't known about, I flip to the part of the book mentioned.

 _Relewiese Hollow is located in the middle of the continent, being its only named location. It is difficult to reach on foot due to the rugged, mountainous terrain, and strong storms are prevalent. The paths are narrow and dangerous, leading down steep cliffs inhabited by powerful monsters that have adapted to the environment. It ventures down so far that every spoken word is answered with an echo. Relewiese Hollow is also home to the oldest aer krene in the world, located in a cavern where a river was shaped over centuries and winds howl throughout._

Reading to the end of the paragraph, I realize how short the pages on Wecca tend to be before I give up on reading it and flip to a random page. Normally I wouldn't do this but I need to entertain myself somehow. Not to mention, I was always taught that the nice thing about nonfiction texts is that you can flip to wherever you want in the story and it will make sense.

 _The Den of Guilds, Dahngrest is the second largest city in Terca Lumiries During the day, the town is in perpetual sunset due to the refraction of sunlight through the unstable aer. Dahngrest is a guild city home to many guild headquarters, most notably the Guild Union, which is governed by the Five Master Guilds: Altosk, the most prominent guild in the Union; Fortune's Market, a guild specializing in marketing and sales; Ruins' Gate, a guild that excavates blastia from ruins; Soul Smiths, a rarely-seen blacksmithing guild; and Blood Alliance, a secretive guild consisting of mercenaries and assassins. Dahngrest was built by Altosk, and as a result, they hold the most power in the city and frequently govern guild policies. Altosk's leader, Don Whitehorse, is in charge of the Union._

After reading through the rest of the page, I conclude that this truly is a book for idiots and know-nothings to read with the simplicity in word choice and basic knowledge. Unfortunately, this means one of two things, I need a better book, or knowledge is meant to be gotten by experience here. By God do I hope the answer is the first one because I will cry if it isn't.

Signing, I give up reading through this book since it has nothing I don't already know in it. I get up from my bed and walk out the door to go to the shop portion of the building to put back the book I took from the rather small nonfiction section. I remember Monika saying that she wished she had more nonfiction, but it doesn't sell well enough to excuse buying it.

I walk back to the counter to find the book catalog and flip through its pages to see the list of history books Monika has in stock that I haven't read yet. I made a mark by the book I just put back and look at the rest of the list to realize that there are only three books I haven't read yet. All of which, are on the top shelf. I purposely put off reading these books for that reason, especially since these were more politically minded books that I know Monika did not enjoy me reading.

I sigh as I grab the stool I usually use when reaching higher shelves (never the top shelf, though) and drag it to the bookshelf. I climb on top of the stool and precariously stand on the top of my feet as I reach for the top shelf. Unfortunately for me and my minuscule and disproportionate-to-my-body hands, I couldn't reach the book. I could try to jump, but that wouldn't be too safe.

I reach again as I hear someone, probably Monika going to check the finances of the day like she does every night, come through the door. I push myself closer to the shelf and barely touch the bottom of the book before I relax once more before I prepare to do something incredibly stupid.

And by stupid, I mean that I'm going to jump on a wobbly stool to reach a book I doubt I can.

Which I do.

And almost fall off and hit my head because I'm smart.

"Are you alright? You should just ask the next time you need a book," the one who caught me who I don't want to think about says as he lowers my feet to the ground while holding my waist.

"I'm fine," I say as ...Hedrik gets the book I fell of the stool to get.

"Is this what you wanted? 'The Politics Book: Big Ideas Simply Explained'?" he asks me as he holds the book out to me.

"Yeah, thank you very much," I say as I take it from him.

"We still have a bunch of desserts, if you want some. I don't know if Monika asked you is all," he says kindly with a smile. Don't be fooled brain, this is a human being, not a fictional character, who quite definitely will cut you down if you seem as a threat. Stay out his way, and he'll hopefully stay out of yours.

"No, it's quite alright. She asked me, I just don't want dessert."

Something on my face must have betrayed me since he asks, "Is there any particular reason why?"

"I've had enough comments on my weight from her to last me a lifetime," I say, not actually lying because Monika does not seem to understand that human beings have different metabolisms. It's even more annoying that I'm not even 'fat' like she says. Overweight, yes, but I'm sure as hell not considered fat by anyone with standards that the general population can meet.

"Ignore her. She's had unrealistic fashion standards shoved into her head by our mother since she was born. Life is too short to not enjoy something like dessert every so often," he says with a smile as he opens the door to the back and gestures for me to go ahead of him. There's no fucking way I'm turning my back to him; I'm trying to avoid death, not invite it.

"Really, it's alright," I say as I take the door from him and let him go ahead of me, which he thankfully does.

"Is it the socialization than? You don't seem to be much of a fan of it judging by the way you act around people," he says as he waits for me to close the door.

"Not necessary," I say, trying my best to get him to walk faster so I can dive into my room and get away.

"Really? Is it just the amount of people then?" he says as he walks painfully slowly to the dining room.

"Yeah... One other person is more than enough for me to deal with," I say as I silently will him to walk faster while clutching the book I got earlier to my chest in a death grip.

"Really? I suppose I can't judge since I was just like that at your age," he says as he finally passes the door to my bedroom, giving me a chance to away.

"Mmm... Goodnight, sir," I say as I open the door to my bedroom.

"The sir is unnecessary, just call me Hedrik. I don't expect you to be calling me uncle anytime either, so don't even bother forcing yourself. But nonetheless, goodnight," he says as he walks to where his family is audibly laughing and enjoying themselves.

I lock myself in my room, not bothering to turn on the lights and curl underneath the blankets, hugging a stuffed animal kitten that Monika bought me a month ago. I stare at its fur for a bit before I sigh and listen to the family down the hall talking about an issue Monika had with a customer two months ago, them laughing as she humorously told them about what happened. It's almost sad how much I'm pushing myself away, but it's obvious I don't belong.

For some god damn reason, I was dropped in here and was picked up by Monika. Of all the people it could be, how the hell is it that I ended up with someone important to the plotline of the story? With every move I make around him I feel like I'm going to somehow magically do something to fuck up everything like I always do in every school project I got. They sound like a perfectly happy family down there, why would I butt in and ruin it? I'm an add-on; a shitty character designed to sell merchandise that won't even serve its purpose. Really, it's better I stay like this, because the more I butt in, the more I'll care about his eventual demise which I can't change unless I want to fuck up a lot of shit. Hell, why did I ever think I could do anything here; what made me think I'm so damn special that I can tromp around fucking with everything and ruin a happy ending-.

I release the stuffed animal from the tight grip I had it under as I let myself relax. I usually only get this self-deprecating whenever I'm yelled at, but apparently, something is getting to me. Maybe it's the not going outside thing. Yeah, that probably it. I always feel better about myself after I wake up.

I roll over in bed as I stay there for a few more minutes before I force myself to get up. I turn off the light in my room and go to open the window to let in the fall air since it's getting stuffy in here. While brushing my hair with a brush laying previously on the desk, I look at the room to realize the minor mess it's in, which is nowhere near as bad as my old bedroom, but still could be cleaner. Considering I still don't count this as my room, I feel guilty leaving it like this.

Using the light being let through the window from sunset, I gather up the trash in the room and throw it into a small trash can next to the desk before I gather the five cups all around the room into a stack. I pause for a moment as I look at the mess of art supplies that is the wooden desk before me before I give up on any thought of fixing it. I'll never be able to find things on there again is I organize it anyway.

With a small sigh, I get the thirty (give or take) books in the room into a pile and organize them by subject. I put the two art books on the desk, the political essays on the bedside stand, and a lot of history books in the seating area of the window. Monika had given me a room where the area around the window pokes outside and makes a ledge to sit on in the inside of the house. I honestly don't use it too much because of no matter how many pillows and blankets I put, it's still uncomfortable and inferior to lying on the bed and reading there.

Considering the work I did as good enough, I change into a loose shirt and pajama shorts before I crawl into bed. Not wanting to close the window or cover it for fear of losing the nice draft coming in, I instead pull the blankets to cover my head. I like there for good now how long before I manage to fall asleep, but I eventually manage to.

Knocking at the door wakes me up from the light sleep I was under as I jerk upward and stumble to the door. Judging from the darkness outside yet lack of stars, I vaguely register that I was asleep for probably only two hours at the most. I quickly drink some water from one of the five cups on my desk to wake myself up. I try to make myself presentable in a few seconds before I open the door.

"Ah, I was just about to assume you were asleep. Monika said to give you this and not leave until you drank all of it. A bit ridiculous if I say so myself, but I understand the sentiment. I something wrong?" Hedrik asks as I rub my eyes to get rid of the sleepiness.

"No, I was just sleeping, that's it," I say as I take the mug he offers me. Looking at it through sleepy eyes, I realize I just got handed a mug of hot chocolate with whipping cream on it.

"Sorry about that, if you want, I can take it back and say you were sleeping," Hedrik says, looking like he genuinely felt bad for waking me up.

"It's fine. The inner two-year-old of me likes hot chocolate too much to pass up the chance of having it," I respond as I let him in my room. I take a seat at the desk and place the mug down since it's too warm. Hedrik takes a seat at the window ledge with a mug he has for himself as he looks at the stack of books next to him.

"How many of these have you read?" Hedrik asks me as he puts down his mug to pick through the pile next to him.

"Entirely? Probably only five or so. Though, I read the majority of at least half of them or so," I say before I test the temperature of my drink and manage to not burn my face off.

"I keep on meaning to read more. I'm envious of people who can read a book a day, but I'm always busy recently. I've barely had time to talk to family, besides Gauche and Droite, The two girls you ate dinner with," Hedrik says as he takes out a book I threw at the window last week because of how biased it was in pushing the political agenda of how terrible the Empire is and how the Guilds are some holy righteous force.

"How's this one?" Hedrik asks as he holds up the book I threw at the window last week.

"If you like believing that the Guilds are God's gift to the planet and like reading things that confirm your viewpoint, great! Otherwise, no," I say as I employ my signature hand motions to indicate sarcasm.

"That would make sense considering it was written by Bryon Singe, who's a militant patriotic supporter of the Union. Do you prefer the Empire to the Guilds then?" Hedrik asks me.

"Hell no- sorry, no. I don't, but I understand that they both have major flaws. There are things better in both systems. The Empire is just a plain and straight monarchy, while the Guilds are run by whoever can command the most respect. I honestly think both systems are terrible, but so is democracy once you have a five-minute conversation with your average voter. It just so happens that democracy is the worst form of government, except when you count all the other ones that have been tried," I say as I sleepily mumble things I heard years ago while holding the warm mug of hot chocolate.

"I suppose that is true. Your qualms with the Empire are probably the same as people do with most monarchies," Hedrik pauses to get my confirmation which I do with a nod of the head before he continues, "but what's your issues with the guilds since it's basically a democracy."

"Who would succeed the Don if he wasn't there anymore? It's a simple question not many can answer because the Union doesn't function as a democracy. In a democracy, a new person would just be voted into power. In the Union, that wouldn't be the case. The most common response is Harry when he grows up since his father has no interest in governing, but let's be honest, that's only because he's the Don's grandson. That makes the Union itself more of a monarchy than anything else. There's probably a term for what I'm thinking of, but I don't know it and-. Why are you smiling at me like that?" I say as I notice the large grin on Hedrik's face.

"I just find it funny that you've usually been quiet but you turn into a new person when discussing your beliefs. You're far more animated," he says with a smile as I start to realize what I've done.

"I'm sorry," I say while debating if Monika would let me sleep under her bed to get away from Hedrik.

"For what? As far as I know, you've done nothing wrong," Hedrik says, pushing me into a corner. Usually, I just use that as a phrase to make the topic change to something else and don't have a specific meaning in the words, which is exactly the problem I have now. As a substitute to a real answer, I chose to stare at the ground and not respond.

"I suppose I should be the one saying sorry now for bringing that up and ruining the conversation. However, nonetheless, I'm not allowed to just leave the room because Monika will pounce on me unless I bring two empty cups with me," he says with a sigh before drinking out of his mug while I hold my mostly full cup in my lap.

"Why two? I thought you just needed mine?" I say in an attempt to continue the conversation so I seem like a normal person since I think that's what normal people who didn't basically die and get transported to another world where they know the eventual fate of everyone around them would do.

"Oh, you caught that? Monika is rather insistent that we get along because she wants you to have friends besides her," he says as he looks through the books next to him again.

"Then why wouldn't she be having me talk to your daughters instead? They're closer to me in age, after all," I say as I play with my hair.

"She thinks you're too adult-minded to get along with kids. That and something about murmuring "I hate children" under your breath or something."

"That was because that kid got mad at me for saying we didn't have the book he wanted and then threw a hardcover book at my face," I say.

"Fair enough reason to be mad. By the way, they aren't actually my daughters, they're my nieces. Their dad is busy with running a guild. My older brother runs Ruin's Gate, which ties him to Aspio a lot of the time. Considering I travel a lot for work, he lets them come with me so they can see something besides the dark cave that is the entire city," he says with a completely straight face that actually makes me think that I'm telling the truth. Most of it makes sense if it's really the truth, I guess. But at the same time, I vaguely remember Monika making a joke about one of her brothers being a compulsive liar that my brain might just be making up right now.

"Ah, okay. It just sounded like they were your kids from the way Monika was talking, that's it," I say to make it sound like I believed it. But really, though, if you were the leader of Leviathan's Claw, why would you want people to be connecting your young kids to you? I don't know what to think. I could try asking the girls, but it could be that he tells them what to respond to me with before I can ask. I don't know what to think.

"To be honest, sometimes it's like they really are my kids, though. Not to sound pushy, but are you close to being done?"

"No, not really," I say as I look at my mostly full cup. This is going to be a long time I'm stuck here with him.

"Alright, then. Anything you want to talk about to make this less awkward?"

* * *

 _Good lord, I was wondering when you were going to sleep. I've had enough of freezing time. You talked with him for way too long in my opinion. Anyway,- and please don't try to respond to me, it'll be weird on my end since I'll just see weird dream images in response- I need to mention something to you._

 _I've put an... abnormal amount of effort into your case, and I want you to know that some people have taken notice of your case. You see when you- no, please stop, that giant dinosaur is not a coherent response in any way- godamn it. Now I remember why I chose to start freezing time despite the energy it takes._

 _Like I said, people are taking notice and the thing is is that is you actually- stop it with the dinosaurs! If your fate is fulfilled than you'll ****** *** ** in other words, a *********. If you actually follow what I told you, chances are you'll end up seeing ******, if you can call it that, so don't worry too much. Then again, you seem to be a stubborn teenager at heart in terms of the resiliency of your ideas, thank goodness you're too lazy to act on them. Although if ***, that is to say, ****** manages to convince you to create *** *****, we'll have a bit of a problem._

Hell, I can live with that happening, but we'll really have a problem if you get too attached to people, specifically ******. If you get too attached to *** and **** ***** ****, then they'll know that you're *** ** ** ******* and they'll intervene. I'm only a subordinate, if they were to chose for you to ****** * *********, it'll be *** ** ** *******, sorry. Just, keep a low profile. Oh, shit, I thought I was being sneaky... guess not, hopefully, I won't get chewed out too much for this, wait, they've ******** everything, crap. I suppose I'll have to leave it here. Goodbye ***** ******.

* * *

"Did you sleep vell, Elle? You're up rather early," Monika asks me as I stumble into the dining chair, barely awake and still in my pajamas.

"I went to bed early, that's it. And yeah I did, I had a weird dream about some skinny and tall woman with blue hair riding a dinosaur who was telling me to stop dreaming about dinosaurs," I say as I thank Hedrik for the spoon he gives me so I can eat the oatmeal in the bowl in front of me.

"Vhat's a dinosaur?" Monika asks, my half-awake brain barely realizing the fuck up I just had.

"I read some book that theorized that they were some ancient monsters that don't exist now," I say as realize the oatmeal really needed some brown sugar but that I didn't have any.

"A woman with blue hair? Did she have different colored eyes by any chance?" Hedrik asks jokingly, referencing a story he told me last night.

"Hell if I know, she was busy rampaging on a dinosaur," I say as I shove food into my mouth to wake me up.

"I have a contract I need to finish today, not to mention that I need to renew my guild membership, so I'll be out. Are you willing to teach the girls some finance things while I'm out? It'll help to have someone other than me explain it," Hedrik asks Monika. He told me yesterday he was a pianist for hire. I guess he's only here for a job.

"I mean, I can, but aren't thzey rather young to be learning about finances?"

"The sooner they learn the better for their future. I know plenty in the Musician's Guild that learned finance younger than eleven. Granted, that was because their parents wanted them to work in Fortunes Market with the huge monopoly they have, but nonetheless, it can be learned and taught to the girls. If you can get them to sit still," Hedrik says, chuckling as he gets up to put away his dishes before heading to his room.

"So, Elle," Monika says to grab my half awake attention.

"Yeah?" I say before shoving oatmeal into my mouth to pretend it doesn't need brown sugar which I can't get.

"You've been with me a lot when we go shopping, right?" she pauses to see me nod before continuing, "Do you sink you could walk there yourself?"

"Probably, why?" I say, desperately trying to ignore the need for brown sugar.

"I vas going to ask if you could deliver this list to Steven. We need extra food for the rest of thze week since thzey'll be here for a while. By za way, sorry for not telling you earlier. I meant to give him ze list two days ago but uh... I think you know what I mean, anyway, do you think you can do it?" Monika asks me. I suppose it makes sense she didn't drop it off. Monika has a habit of not coming home until late at night, and I know for a fact that she had too many drinks two days ago, which is probably why the delivery form wasn't given then.

"Yeah, is there a certain time you want me to go?"

"Whenever you're ready, really. He just needs it before fourteen since tomorrow is delivery day and he needs to make sure he has everysing. You have five hours," Monika says as she gets up to get the envelope with the food she ordered for the week. I never did get used to her usage of military time. I always need to think for a moment whenever she says seventeen in reference to time.

"Is there any particular reason you're having me do this?" I ask as I take the envelope from her.

"Uh... No? Yeah, no, nope, not really," Monika says weirdly.

"Okay... Whatever you say. Hope I don't get killed or get a sword to my neck or anything," I say jokingly before I shove the last of the food down my throat.

"I'm hoping, believe me... Can you vake up the girls? Hedrik say to let them sleep, but zeir food is getting cold and I voun't have time to warm it up once the shop opens in ten minutes. I converted the office into their room so thzey'll, hopefully, be there. I need to set up some stuff at the front desk, so bis sp- uh, see you later." Monika says as she puts away her dishes.

"And Monika?"

"Yeah?"

"Your accent is starting to slip through more than normal, are you okay?" I ask since she's been falling into slightly broken English, which I usually don't mind, but, I mean, really, "Hedrik say to let them sleep?"

"Ah... You noticed it?" she says as she looks at me, almost like she's panicking.

"Yeah. It's just worse than usual today. Well, I'd say more present since there's nothing wrong with accents, they add to a language."

"I just didn't sleep much, zat's all. I forgot to log ze receipts for taxes for ze past few days and I spent last night collecting zem," she says while looking mildly relieved but still tired.

"If you want, I can take care of the shop once I get back and you can sleep. There aren't many people on this day of the week either," I offer since Monika looks like she needs sleep soon.

"Can you? Zat would actually be nice. I was originally sinking about closing early but if you take over at noon zat vould be a big help."

"Yeah, I'll do it. If you want, I can take over right when I get back," I say as relief spreads across Monika's face.

"You don't need to do that much. Wait just a moment- here, spend it on some treat or something for yourself while you're out," Monika says as she hands me a purse that I assume has gald in it.

"Oh, thank you," I say before Monika says 'your welcome' while walking to the front shop area.

I shove the rest of my breakfast down my mouth before I put away my dishes in the sink and hurry to my room to change into a dark purple shirt and black pants and brush my hair. Leaving the envelope and gald on my bedside table, I go to the office now serving as the room for the two girls. Knocking on the door, I wait for a response to make sure that they aren't awake and changing before I push open the door.

The two girls are still soundly asleep next to each other before I walk over to the bed and shake Droite awake while saying, "Hey, breakfast is ready. Monika's lazy and doesn't want to reheat it so you probably want to eat now."

"Okay... Mh..."

Obviously, my attempt isn't working. In a last-ditch attempt, I take away their blanket. I have no clue if it'll do anything to them, but it would sure as hell get me awake.

"Give it back... Please," Gauche says as she gets up to try to sleepily take the blanket back from me.

"Do you want to eat cold oatmeal? It might sound like a good idea now as a substitute for a few more minutes of sleep but sure as hell isn't going to be when you're eating it. Seriously, cold oatmeal is a no go," I say while pulling the blanket away from them.

"I don't even like oatmeal anyway," Gauche says as I can see she is noticeably waking up.

"Well, you're eating it for breakfast anyway, so make a choice. Warm or cold oatmeal?" I say while waving the blanket away from them.

"Urg... Fine, I'll get up," she says as she goes to change out of her fuzzy pajamas while I promptly leave the room. With the blanket. Once I close the door, I drop the blanket outside and go to my room to get the envelope.

I grab the purse and carefully put in the envelope as well, making sure it isn't folded. I slip the bag over my head and put it on my shoulder and let the purse hand on the other side. I walk to the front, before running directly into Hedrik due to me not looking.

"Sorry," I say as I pull back from him.

"No, no, it's fine. Is Monika letting you outside? I bothered her about it a little bit last night, so I hope," he says, surprising me in his conversation attempts.

"Yeah, she is. She's having me deliver our grocery order to Steve," I say as I try not to seem rude by continuing making conversation.

"Steve, that's the man who runs Fortune's Market delivery orders, right? I know where that is, actually, it's on the way to where I'm going, so unless you want to go by yourself, I can come with you," Hedrik says, making me think that he made some kind of a deal with Monika to let me out of the house that includes him stalking me.

"Er, sure. I mean, it sounds from the way you're speaking that you're going to follow me anyway," I say as I see him nod instead of actually respond since we're in Monika's hearing range.

"Okay, well, I'll try to hurry then so you won't be late for your job," I say as I open the door to the front to see Monika wave to me before going to help a customer. I would say that's it's odd that we have so many customers for a bookstore, but according to Monika, we're the only ones on this side of town because the previous owners used some pretty monopolizing methods and nobody wants to challenge Monika's form of livelihood either because she's rather famous for something she did some years ago.

"I just need to renew my guild license right now. I don't need to worry about the job I have today, it isn't until later," Hedrik says as he opens the door for me and holds it and a customer walks in, a young blond kid who Hedrik stares at for a few moments.

"Okay, I just don't want to inconvenience you, that's it."

"That would be Monika causing it, not you. She was the one who said I had to follow you. She also said I had to follow you back, which is weird but she's rather paranoid so it makes sense. Would it be alright if you come with me to get my license renewed? We can get lunch afterward since breakfast honestly wasn't that good or filling," Hedrik says once the door is closed so there's no chance Monika can hear us.

"I don't mind going with you, might as well see how Guilds work anyway. But I can't do lunch since I told Monika I would take over from her at noon since she's so tired," I say apologetically.

"It shouldn't take too long to drop that off or renew my guild license, and if it does take too long, we can walk back."

"Okay, then. It's been a long time since I had food that wasn't made by a not so great chef," I say as I think about Monika's sub-par cooking.

"Yeah, I have no clue how Monika has managed to be an adult for so long and not be able to cook a single decent dish. I know that she usually eats out, but I still don't know how she can't even make breakfast," Hedrik says with a sigh, probably thinking about the cooking incident yesterday.

"I keep on meaning to learn how to make something, but I can never seem to find time to do it since I'm usually helping at the shop or doing something else I'm interested in," I lament while debating if it's just because I'm lazy.

"I can teach you something simple tomorrow morning if you want. I know that Monika has the ingredients for several different things I can cook so that's not an issue."

"Sure, if you're willing to," I say to his offer.

The rest of the walk is sparse in conversation. We get to Steve's shop/ordering service soon enough and drop off our order which has been prepaid as Monika deposits money every few months or so, so she doesn't have to bring large sums of gald around with her. In a city like this, you always have the chance of being pickpocketed, though, I suppose that's true of any major settlement of human civilization.

It turns out that to renew his guild license, Hedrik only has to go to the Union's main building and fill out a few forms at a desk. The whole process only takes a few moments and he explains it to me while doing it. The only mildly exciting thing that happens in the time there is that Dominic, the assistant at the hospital I was at and also the Don's son ran into us and had a small conversation with us since he recognized Hedrik since he had been the pianist at some major event Dominic had attended.

After saying goodbye to him, we walked to the Sagittarius since we had an hour to spend eating. The waiters there also seem to recognize Hedrik, and not just as 'Monika's brother's but as Hedrik. After we ordered, something mildly odd happens. The manager of the restaurant comes and talks to us, which never happens anytime I'm here with Monika. She asks the general manager stuff before she gets into some personal things with Hedrik, like asking about the girls, leading me to believe that they must know each other, but I don't feel like commenting on it.

Just before we leave the business, a waitress stops Hedrik and says, "By the way, there was a woman with brown hair with Yurozean features who said to give you this."

"Ah, thank you," Hedrik responds as he takes a letter from the waitress.

"You're welcome," she says as she smiles at him before running back to her job.

"Elle, would it be alright if I left you in the cafe nearby with some gald? You can get whatever you what, I just need to deal with something," he says as he read the letter just given to him before pocketing it.

"Uh, sure. it's just the one around the corner, right?" I ask as he nods before I continue, "Monika gave me some money already so don't worry about that."

"Alright, I shouldn't take too long," he says as he opens the door for me, which I thank him for.

"Okay, see you later then," I say as I walk to where I saw the cafe earlier.

Now, despite the fact that the majority of my suspicions are gone after the nice chat I had last night where he came off like a good person, not all of them are gone. Which is why I walk rather slowly and look at the display glass next to me to see his reflection walking into an alleyway. Choosing to ignore this, I continue walking to the cafe where I buy a small fruit tart and water before I sit down and eat it while waiting.

After I finish, I throw away my trash and sit there for a solid twenty minutes before I look at the clock and realize I would need to start walking back within the next ten minutes to be back before noon. I get up and decide to wait outside before I get a loitering warning from the employees, and sit on a bench on the other side of the street. After a few more minutes, I start to be mildly anxious as I realize that I can't walk back by myself and I don't want to have Monika get mad at us either. She's one for punctuality, not to mention taking over the shop for today is the least I can do to thank her for the kindness she's showed me.

I can feel it starting to warm up as the sun is reaching its peak, but it stays bearable to most due to the Autumn breeze. Unfortunately, my heat tolerance is non-existent and I can feel myself starting to sweat. Left with no other options, I choose to duck into a nearby alley that has plenty of shade but is close enough to the populous road for me to not get panicky. From my spot, I survey the people passing by, hoping to see Hedrik, but to no avail. Generally, I wouldn't be worrying much, but Hedrik also seems to be someone who would be on time, so I'm honestly starting to panic a little bit.

Using my last option, I get up and walk towards the alley I saw Hedrik walk into. I'm just about to step in until I see a flash of red in the corner of my eye. A little boy and his mother were carrying them solemnly, walking in the direction of what I knew what a graveyard. It makes sense, considering they're planted in graveyards to ward off organisms that might try to eat bodies. Feeling bad for them, but still concerned for myself, I turn around and am about to take a step until I see a flower between a crack of the cement in the alley. It's red.

I pause as I remember what dinosaur woman had said about red spider lilies meaning I was heading down a path to hell. Honestly, ending up in hell is probably inevitable for me, but I'm not stupid enough to go seeking it, however, I really need to find Hedrik.

The flowers concern me, should I just walk away? Do I continue or do I just do what I was told to do-?

The asshole in me says this is what it must be like to be a fundamentalist, being afraid that anything you do will make the Jigglypuff in space mad at you and make you burn in hell for all eternity for it.

The asshole in me prevails, I glance around a little in the alley as I look around, only to not find Hedrik. With a sigh, I turn around and leave, wondering if the flowers were just a coincidence. That is, before a hand grabs my shirt and pulls me back into the alley and away from the view of the street and another clasps over my mouth.

"I will give you five seconds to tell me who you are. If your answer doesn't please me, I'll assume you're a spy and kill you right here, now go," a woman says to me before the hand over my mouth releases.

"My name is Elle, I'm a human being who lives here, for God's sake I'm fourteen and- mnh!" I say, trying to let out words that won't get me killed.

"Your affiliation. What. Is. It. What guild are you from?"

"I'm not from a guild, I live with-"

"Liar! No person your age wouldn't be in a guild!"

"I'm not lying, I'd be utterly useless in a guild, none of them would accept me in if I even tried!"

"Sure, then explain to me why you aren't starving?"

"I have a half decent parental unit that feeds me? That's really my only explanation! She works in a bookstore, so she had plenty of money!"

"...In a bookstore or runs it?" she asks, seemingly tentative about her question.

"She runs it, she said it was a family business!"

"Well, now I know you're lying, she's nowhere near old enough to have a fourteen-year-old child."

"I was adopted a few months ago, what do you want me to say? I don't even know why you're holding me here, I-"

"Lily, she couldn't hurt us if she tried, don't bother hurting her. Sit her down over here."

At the end of his order, I'm promptly dragged further into the alley and I get a brief look at my assailant, who's a woman in a dark uniform that covers her face, and is also taller than me, granted, everyone is taller than me. I get sit down on what feels like a rock or brick before the woman removes her hand from my eyes but not my mouth. In front of me lies the person I was seeking for, but not the person I wanted.

I was right all along.

I honestly should have known.

"Now then, we are going to have a fun chat, you and me, ja? Whoever your boss is was very smart to try to get to me through my sister. Now answer truthfully to me fraulein, who are you really?"

The same blue eyes I'm accustomed to look at me, but the owner of them now has hair that is a purple-grey in place a blonde, and a significant lack of eyebrows. In place of a white dress shirt and jacket is a blue tailcoat with a shark motif and yellow accenting it. The voice, however, is the largest difference, instead of the calm and quiet, down to earth voice I'm used to is replaced by irregular speech patterns with offset pronunciation and a sharp edge that I'm sure is ready to command the woman next to me to hurt me at any moment.

"Well?" I realize how wrong I was with the look he gives me after that question. These are eyes I'm familiar with, these are eyes of someone who's ready to rip my throat out with his bare hands if that's what it took to protect his secrets. This person isn't Hedrik, but Hedrik was probably only a mask being played.

"A- mm!" I scream before I'm muffled as the woman muffles my mouth as she slams my head into the wall behind me. The pain I feel is horrible, but I've done worse to myself in anger before, or so I think until she does again, and again, and...

"Calm down , she can't answer if you keep doing that. I think you see your options, fraulein, you may answer, and if we like it, we'll ship you back to your owner intact and not in pieces."

I stare at the man in front of me as my brain feels congested from pain. I want to cry. I want to cry so badly. I want to beg to be released, but I'm fully aware that wouldn't be a pleasing answer and I would only be hurt more. I know being a sitting duck will do nothing for me, but i have no alternative, as the truth will probably only seems like a lie.

After a few seconds went by, the women got impatient. She placed he hand back on my mouth, but instead of placing her other on my forehead like she had been doing before, she chooses to grip my neck in a vice grips, leaving me short of air as she forces my head into the wall, harder and harder, her hand d on my neck only tightening.

I wonder if they know torture doesn't work.

I start to feel tears be released along with the hand on me, as my vision is spotty and the wetness on the back of my head clues me in to the damage being severe, and that I definitely have a concussion, the ringing in my ears not helping. I hear something muffled, probably the serial killer asking me the same thing in another country descending way. I can do nothing as the process is repeated enough times I lost count, whether from number or memory loss from the severe concussion I'll have after this. If there is an after this.

The woman seems to have had enough of me, opting to squeeze her hands around my neck while forcing me against the wall. I'm going to die. There's no way I won't. I'm going to die and my body will be cut apart into little pieces and sent to whomever they think my boss is. Whoever gets my dismembered body will probably throw me away, and if it doesn't happen, I'll be thrown into the ground, and whatever gravestone will read, "Here likes a lying piece of shit, it decided to attempt to trick me so I ended it of its misery as I knew it wouldn't be able to achieve any of it's ambitions."

But honestly, as much as death fears me with this being my only life, or if I'm to believe dinosaur woman, my only chance before hell, nothing can be worse then this.

I'm vaguely aware that I've been knocked on to the ground.

Death wouldn't be all too bad at this point.

Through my blurred vision, I see the woman standing over me, taking out what I expect is something that can be used to hurt me. I see the man standing farther away with a smirk on his face, letting his employee do the dirty work, keeping his clothes clean of the red on the ground which I recognize as blood, probably my own from when I was rolled onto the ground.

I smile just a little bit as I see the woman take out a knife. The woman stares at the knife before she turns around, receiving a nod on whatever she intends to do to me. Whether to kill or maim me, I don't care. One will just be getting it over with and the other will prolong the inevitable. I feel so numb I can't even care anymore.

Or at lease I think so until I feel the knife digging into my arm. Bloods starts pooling down my arm and stains my shirt as she cuts deeper and deeper. I can't screw as anything my voice has left is gone. I'm left as a ragdoll as I lie there, unable to do anything but let salt water pool in my eyes before I flows down to join the blood on the floor that is getting in my hair.

"You have one final chance, fraulein. I had told Monika that she wouldn't need to worry as I wouldn't hurt you until you gave evidence that you would be a concern. Not answering seems like a good concern. At this rate, not even she will regret your passing."

I see through blurred vision that he narrows his eyes as he hears me finally respond.

"Good."

He doesn't seem pleased with that response. He waves a hand at Monika, making a gesture that obviously means to kill me. His employee nods and takes her knife into a better grip.

Just as she is about to kneel down, a familiar voice says, "I was expecting you to deescalte this, but it seems I was wrong."

Dinosaur woman.

The woman who appeared has light blue hair and is tall, probably Monika's height if not a bit taller. She looks at me for a moment, and when she makes eye contact I see she really does have two different eyes, one a solid blue and the other dark brown. All I can gather from her facial features, however, it that she's as pissed as she sounds.

"Why would I deescalte when I've been given no proper reason to? Why do you suddenly care now? You've seen worse happen and not reacted," he says as he crosses his arms, his speech patterns turning into that of a normal person.

"I care because for one, those people were not someone your sister cared about, she will be crushed if you say you killed her and that she was working for whoever you think she is. Secondly, she's an innocent child! She's barely older then Gauche and Droite but you feel no pity for her? Lastly, and really this is the only reason I care, I already stopped her lungs from collapsing after being run over by a car, and as far as I care, she's in the same situation as you!"

"It's rather funny you just made yourself a thesis statement right there," he says with a smile as dinosaur woman is visably even more pissed off.

"Name the amount of times you've been right over me," Dinosaur woman says while I look over to see the woman who drove a knife into my shoulder isn't moving. As in, time seems to have frozen for her, but not for me, dinosaur woman, or him. It's curious, actually, how I can feel the blood pooling out of my shoulder just stops once it gets too far out side of my body.

"Wait, what? What happened to your shoulder?" Dinosaur woman says as she turns around and seems to have finally notice the condition I am in. Most likely alarmed at the blood pooling out of my shoulder, she takes off the red scarf I just noticed she was wearing before she wraps it around my arm, after she pushes away the weird mountain of blood that's been collecting.

"Why isn't that stopping as well?" he says as he almost sounds concerned.

"Because I can only freeze time for those living, and considering what you're subordinate did, she probably won't be alive soon," she says while looking at me, giving me and indication she is lying, I suppose to calm me down.

"She's not going to die from that kind of cut, the worse thing she'll have is a slight scar."

"I'm not talking about the cut, I'm talking about the severe brain damage that those concussions probably caused. Not that she seems to care at this point. Next time, take my warning, won't you? It wasn't a coincidence that a flower just appeared from a crack in the sidewalk where no sun will ever hit," Dinosaur woman says as she places a hand and keeps pressure on where the wound is. Unable to do much else, I give a small smile to her and try not to tense up my arm too much to stop blood from coming out as quickly as it can.

"I'll admit that was overdone. As much as I like her, Lily has had a small sadistic streak, but nearly everyone in this line of work does. I didn't think she would go as far as she did."

"Then get over here and help me, would you?" Dinosaur woman says as her hair brushes against me while she turns around. Despite her height, her hair is long enough to hit me, granted, shes also kneeling. And getting blood stained into her white dress.

"Give me one good reason I should help an enemy spy that couldn't care less about me?"

"Because, you idiot, she isn't an enemy spy, she's an innocent child who made the mistake of trusting you," Dinosaur woman says as she gets noticably angerier.

He pauses for a moment, seemingly in denial before asking, "How do you know this for sure?"

"Because I set this up! You're here for a reason, right? Here you go! Now help me before another child's blood is on your hands."

Impassively, he kneels down next to dinosaur woman, who moves out of his way, and places a hand where she just had her's. To my surprise, a casting circle appeared underneath him. The feeling of the aer gathering upwards from underneath me is extremely off-putting and my body attempts to jerk away in response to prevent further harm. The hand on my shoulder keeps a firm grip, preventing me from getting any further, and honestly, hurts.

"It's just a healing circle, I'm not going to hurt you. Well, not anymore then you already have been," he says, making a really crappy joke that just make me want to move as far away as I can from him.

"That was really not in good taste," Dinosaur woman says from the side.

"It wasn't, I admit, but neither was what lead us to this," he says as he finishes gathering aer and releases it onto my body. The feeling of the giant wound on my should closing was neither a relief of pain or a lack of feeling, in fact, it hurt like hell. The forceful closing of the wound hurt more than getting it.

"Serotonin and dopamine, you forgot to release it, you're making this way more painful then it should be," Dinosaur woman says as she lightly hits him on the back of his head.

"Sorry, I was distracted," he says as the pain in my shoulder starts to die down and I almost feel ready to spring up and run away. Except not really.

"Yes, I don't recommend that. On your current state you would only make it far enough so that we can't find you and you'll die somewhere on the street."

I stare at dinosaur woman before I realize if she's the representation of the voice that reincarnated me, she can probably read my thoughts. Great, great, great. The last refuge of man, please get out, Dinosaur Woman.

"I'll get out if you stop calling me Dinosaur Woman," her sentence has a snort interjected by the person who has their hand on my shoulder before she continues with, "You can call me Eleanor."

"I didn't get to learn your name until three years ago," he says as he takes his hands off and unwinds the scarf from my arm.

"That's because you weren't annoying enough," Eleanor says as she walks over to inspect my shoulder. "You said the scar would be barely visible. This isn't barely visible."

"She cut deeper than I thought she did. With proper care, it should be barely visible within... a few years."

I try to roll over as the two continue to bicker about whatever, only to regret it immediately. While my shoulder is fine, my head feels like it's been run over by a truck and put through a meat grinder. I manage to get onto my back before I need to stop, my vision spotting too much and my eardrums ringing loud enough to block out the noise from the two adults next to me.

"F...her head... put her... I don't want to carry her... Urg," Eleanor says to him as she gestures towards me. He looks at her impassively for a moment before he put his hands on the back of my head and starts casting. It's when he releases the spell that my brain realizes something.

It doesn't like healing artes.

Sure, the magic is fixing one part of my head, but the overload of aer to my brain isn't something the organ enjoys. Whatever cluster headaches feel like, which are one of the most painful things a human can naturally experience, must be less painful than this. This is more painful then the process in which I got the concussion multiplied several times. The pain only gets worse to the point where I can't see anything and I start hallucinating screaming loud enough to get through the ringing in my ears. It's only right before I pass out that I realize something extremely unfortunate. I'm not hallucinating screaming, I am the one screaming.

* * *

In the fastest motion I've ever done, I jerk upward and away from wherever I just was. In any other situation, this may have been helpful, but in this one, I just fall off the bed and twist myself in blankets. I lie silently on the floor and stare at the ceiling. It's blue, it means I'm in the bedroom Monika gave me.

I stay there for a few more minutes before I decide to try to move, only to decide against that the second I get up into a sitting position. Resting my head against the side of the bed, I close my eyes and try to figure why I'm in so much pain. Bits and pieces of what happened come back to me. A woman with brown hair with her hands around my throat, blue eyes piercing me as she rammed my head into the brick behind me. Someone else was there. There was Eleanor... Who's Eleanor?

I hold a hand to my head before remembering that she's the person who saved me. Twice, actually. She isn't the person I'm think of, though. It was him, Yeager, with blue eyes and purplish greyish brown hair. Why did I find him, though? I was in an alley... why. I was looking for-.

Hedrik.

The door opens and I hear clinking. I open my eyes as the clinking stops to see Monika standing next to me with a tray of food. She sits down and puts the food in my lap before asking me, "So, why are we sitting on the ground?"

"I fell off the bed," I respond as I look at the food on the tray below me. It actually looks like food, meaning Monika did not cook this.

"Er, good job? I'll help you back up," she says as she picks up the tray and placed it precariously on the bedside table next to a stack of books. She kneels next to me and puts her hands around my back, me doing the same as she lifts me up back on my bed, putting the blankets back over me before she hands me the tray. She grabs my desk chair and pulls it to the side of the bed, sitting down on it.

"I already heard what happened from Hedrik but I want you to explain in your own view what happened," Monika says, cutting right to the chase. ...Like any good blunt German...

"I got a head injury and I think he tried to heal it but my brain didn't like it or something. I don't remember anything too clearly," I say as I look at the food in front of me.

"Look at me in the eyes when you're saying that," Monika says, uncharacteristically seriously.

I stare at her a repeat, "I got a head injury of some kind and he tried to heal it, but the healing arte didn't interact well with my body."

She stares at me for a few more more moments, almost looking sad before she mutters, "Er lügte nicht..."

"Monika?"

"Nothing. I was just worried. I didn't know if what I was told was true, so..." Monika says as she rubs the corners of her eyes with her hand while staring at her lap.

Guilty, I look at the woman the woman who seemed to have aged from tiredness, her actual age of her early thirties starting to show through. I move the tray back to the table, moving aside the books. I slowly sit on my knees before I lean over and hug Monika, who after a moment does the same

"I'm sorry to have worried you. I'm really uncoordinated and managed to hit my head," I say as Monika buries her head in my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, it's just good that you're alright. I'd never be able to forgive myself if what I thought happened really did," Monika says as she links her arms behind me. At this moment, I realize that Monika probably suspected what actually happened. The way she looks when saying his name, the distrust she had for my statement, the guilt he has, she probably still believes that she's right. It's only made more unfortunate by the fact that she's right.

"It wouldn't be your fault. You're... You're a good parent, Monika, I swear."

She chuckles for a moment before she says, "Will you start calling me mom anytime soon?"

"Only if you want me to, mommy."

"Yeah, I'm good, never say that again," Monika says as I can feel a smile appearing on her face. We giggle a little together before we separate and smile at each other.

"Agreed. I'm sorry I couldn't take over the shop for you," I apologize as I pick the food tray back up.

"Hm? Oh, no, that's alright. I just drank a lot of coffee and I got through it. I'll admit I was a little annoyed at first, but once I saw you were passed out, well, I doubt you could run the shop like that," Monika says as she leans back in the chair.

"Probably not," I simply respond as I pick up the carrots with my fork.

We sit there quietly for a while as I eat, making small conversation once in awhile, but mainly keeping to our own thoughts. I smile a bit as I realize how quickly we've bonded to be able to just sit here and not say anything to each other and it not be awkward. It took years for me to get to this point with some friends, granted, I wasn't living with them.

As I finish my food, Monika takes the tray from me and says, "Do you want anything else or do you just want to rest? It's probably a good idea to get lots of it considering you got a concussion."

"I don't need anything, really. I have a water bottle here, so I'll be fine. Don't worry about me and do whatever you need," I say to Monika, who smiles before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

I sit back and close my eyes before I slowly roll downwards until I'm lying on my side. That entire conversation hurt, to be completely honest. I could tell that Monika fully trusted me, but I had more or less lied straight to her face. I may have just omitted details, but that was still lying to someone who had put their complete trust in me, and I felt absolutely awful for what I had just done.

The door to my room opens again, leading me to sit up. I don't even need to look to see who it is, neither do I want to look at him. I instead opt to stare it the blankets covering my bed before I say quietly, "I won't say anything if you don't."

A sigh leaves his mouth before a reply comes. "Are you sure that's how you want to leave this?"

"Ignoring it? Yes." I respond as I clench the blankets as I rest my head on my knee, not looking at him.

"And are you alright with lying to Monika about this as well after that nice little family moment you just had?"

I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the way that was worded, or maybe it was just his voice, but I felt so much anger. Whatever it was, it made all the anger and emotions I've been containing for several months collect and boil over.

"What the fuck makes you think I want to lie to her, huh? What in your small fucked up brain makes you think I enjoy lying to the only person I can rely on? I'll tell you right now, I don't, but anything I say won't be believed because honestly, who is she going to believe, a shit-faced teenager or her brother, who she's known for more or less her whole life? Anything I say can, and will, only fuck me over in the short and long run! Lying to her is the path of getting fucked over the least, so why the hell do you care when you're the one who caused this, you sadistic son of a bitch!" I scream at him, surprising both him and myself, especially since I managed to stand myself up to throw several books at him.

"I will admit, she really is a bitch," he responds to my outburst with conceding the insult to his mother as he catches the books I threw at him. I want to hurt him so badly, but as is, I'll only hurt myself more. Maybe that's a better idea, though, then I'll look like the victim and not him.

"If all you're going to do is make fun of me, you may as well get over with it now and leave," I say as a headache starts developing in the middle of my forehead.

"Despite what you may think, it's honestly not my intention to do that. I'm only here to work out what we want to say if she asks for elaboration."

"And you patronized me for lying to her. Come up with it yourself if you're only going to lecture me for helping you," I say as my headache gets worse. A side effect of the concussion, I assume.

"Patronizing was not my intention, I assure you. I don't word my sentences the best, that I know. As for now, I only want to help you not get yelled at by Monika, because I don't know if you've seen this yet, but she has a habit of exploding when she gets mad, and she'll definitely get mad over this," he says as steps closer to me.

"If you're that... concerned about my well being, maybe you shouldn't have had your subordinate juggle my brain around in my skull," I bite back as I feel the urge to lie down and not move from the headache that is coming.

"I apologize for that, I honestly didn't think she would be that harsh," he says, almost sounding sincere as he stands in front of me.

"Sure you didn't. If you felt that bad you wouldn't have had her do that," I say as I start to lose the will to argue, the pain bad enough that I'm physically gripping the part of my head that hurts

"Yes, I could have handled that better, but I didn't, and that was a mistake. I'm sorry for that," he says as he places a hand over where I'm gripping the skin hard enough to leave indents with my stubby nails.

I'm about to remove his hand until I hear the familiar sound of a casting circle, harking my memory back to what happened last time a healing f arte was used on my head, causing me to instead swat his hand away and unceremoniously say, "Don't touch me."

In the brief glimpse I get of his face, he almost looks hurt before it goes back to impassive and he says, "What happened last time happened because the back of the head is more prone to the influence of aer. If it's the forehead area that's bothering you right now, I assure you that it will only help."

Not wanting accept help, I refuse, only for him to ignore me and cast a healing arte where I've been gripping my head. The pain dies down; it's still there, but it's bearable now. Nonetheless, I'm still annoyed but the fact he did that without my consent. If a fool wants to be a fool, let them.

"I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want," he says as waits for a response. I continue to just massage my head and don't bother responding, but the point is still gotten and he leaves the room.

I'm realizing that whatever that was, is his attempt at apologizing to me. As much as I appreciate the gesture, he'd be better off waiting a few months before he tries this. I'm infamous for getting extremely pissed at people for days on ends to sometimes weeks, only to forget that it happened a few months later. Granted, this isn't something I'll forget. Perhaps I will forgive him when I have enough time and space to myself, but as for now, all I can see when I look at him is the person who told his subordinate to give me a severe concussion and slice my arm open.

Perhaps we can make up in time, but I can't find it within myself to do so now.


End file.
